Leadership styles clearly vary from person to person. There is one that is perceived as being positive by the leader and even her/his reports. I’m referring to what is often the often-idealized model … the “nice boss.” This individual is approachable, empathetic, and kind, fostering positive relationships with their team members. However, the perception of being a “nice boss” can sometimes carry a curse, potentially leading to challenges in achieving long-term success as a leader. For true success there is a need for a balance between kindness and successful leadership, highlighting the importance of assertiveness, accountability and strategic decision-making.
The Challenges Encountered When ‘Nice’ Drives Leadership
While they are dependable and have no issues taking responsibility, nice bosses struggle with the uglier aspects of leadership like maintaining leadership over a group of people, reprimanding or disqualifying members when the situation demands it and facing the hate that bosses often receive. They tend to be overly invested in being liked and they’re uncomfortable setting limits or giving consequences. They especially don’t like dealing with interpersonal conflicts between staff, assuming that at least one person will be unhappy with the outcome of resolving an issue. The problem is that this tends to create many problems in the workplace in various ways.
An employee behaving badly …
by coming in late, leaving early, taking longer than expected breaks or lunches. The nice manager gives the worker multiple chances rather than calling them out on unacceptable behavior. Impact: This is observed and often resented by those playing by the expected rules.
An employee that the manager believes is sincere in doing their best job … and as a result allows unsatisfactory work to slide. Impact: Repercussions are felt throughout the entire organization as the result of the manager’s choice to be ‘nice’ to an individual employee.
An employee who sees the “nice” boss as a mom or dad … and use the same negotiating tactics they might use at home to get what they want. Impact: Learning that one can negotiate and get away with what they want and that serves to anger those employees who would never think to perform their job responsibilities in that manner. And now the issue has become widespread.
Transitioning From Being the ‘Nice’ Leader to Being ‘Fair’ and Effective
There are three clear guidelines that, when followed, will enable a leader to earn and maintain the respect of those they lead and at the same time achieve the intended goals for the work. These are as follows:
Being an assertive leader:
While being kind and approachable is beneficial, this is a person who sets clear expectations and boundaries for all of those they lead. This encompasses,
Clear Communication, which in turn helps to avoid misunderstandings and ensures everyone is aligned with the organization’s vision.
Confidence and decision-making after weighing various factors, analyzing data and making tough choices when necessary.
Establishing Set Boundaries, which ensures that a leader can manage their time effectively, maintain focus on priorities and avoid being taken advantage of by members of the team.
Accountability: Kindness and successful leadership can coexist when leaders prioritize accountability within their teams. This includes:
Expectations around performance by defining key performance indicators, providing regular feedback and conducting performance evaluations. This encourages growth individually and for the overall team and assures alignment with the organizational goals.
The consequences and providing feedback are crucial. Whereas the ‘nice’ boss may hesitate to address such issues fearing a diminished relationship, the effective boss addresses them in a respectful and constructive manner. This, in turn, fosters growth and improvement.
Leading by example demonstrates accountability in one’s own actions. Thus, it inspires team members to take ownership of their own responsibilities. By modeling desired behaviors such as meeting deadlines, owning responsibility for errors and learning from failures, the leader sets the tone for all.
Being a strategic decision-maker and making tough decisions for the benefit of the organization. This includes:
Communicating a clear vision and strategy to guide their team. Involving team members in the decision-making process and explaining the rationale behind the strategic choices, the leader creates alignment and provides a sense of ownership among the team.
Conclusions and Solutions Supplementing ‘Nice’ with Effective Leading
The answer to the problem is for the manager to actually manage their employees. Giving so many chances to one lazy or irresponsible worker is a terrible idea for all the above reasons. Instead, the manager should follow the HR protocol of their workplace in guiding and disciplining any worker who is shirking their responsibilities.
The spoiled worker doesn’t like or respect their manager any more than the other workers do. They just take advantage of their manager’s niceness. The fair and effective manager has clear expectations and sets clear limits. All team members are treated fairly and similarly. This manager treats all their reports fairly and no-one gets away with unacceptable behavior. Being the ‘nice’ manager tends to be a losing proposition whereas the kind and effective manager makes for a winning one. This brings out the best in the workers inspiring them to do their best along with creating a high morale and highly productive workplace. Being a good leader entails doing what’s best for the team, sometimes regardless of how they might feel about it. The idea is not to be liked by everyone, but to shape the way the team functions and inspire action. Mike Dorman
In business and regardless of what our particular roles and responsibilities are, we often must make decisions. Decisions about the best action for us to take or how to best approach a challenging situation. Decisions as to how best we should present our ideas to those we are wanting to convince to take a certain direction or how to have our input regarded and considered. And the way we ultimately choose to handle something can really contribute to the extent of our success.
There are a couple of approaches that can effectively help us to evaluate what the situation calls for and allow us to break out of our heads. They allow us to view the situation through different lenses and in so doing uncover what we determine to be the most approach appropriate to be in order to achieve our intended goal.
Two Ways to Find The Lens That Will Work Best for You In Any Situation
The first involves viewing the situation from various perspectives. If Superman or Wonder Woman were facing this situation, how would they respond in making their decision? If one were locked into a very dark closet how does this situation look and feel and what would that make you inclined to do? How would your best and most trusted friend approach the matter and what might be advantageous about that? You get the idea, I’m sure. The point is that we allow ourselves to view the situation from different perspectives and in doing so, can more easily arrive at which one or a combination of some best accomplishes our goal.
There is a second approach to accomplishing the same thing and this one allows us to see ourselves through our different looks. For those who have received and read past blogs, you must recognize me as looking in one of these two ways. They both represent the way I generally see myself for all the advantages … and disadvantages … that they might represent. Yet it’s me and the person I know the best. And yet I realize that given those I am trying to convince of something and their personalities this natural Mike may not succeed.
Presume that I have thoughts that I believe could improve the approach being used to achieve a goal of the company or department in which I work. Let’s pretend that even though I think my ideas are good and of potential value, my normal personality renders me to be quiet and defer to those with louder voices and a willingness to just ‘put it out there’. So, I recognize that I need a different perspective of myself that might allow me to become more vocal for my own good and the good of the organization. Here are some perspective-changing photo versions of me that answer the question of how ‘this’ person would handle the same situation:
This is the BOLD and colorful me. This person is confident in his thoughts and ideas to the extent that he is willing to express them quickly and loudly to others. He has nothing to lose and may find great reception to the ideas he presents.
This is the CONTEMPLATIVE and reserved me. He is a good listener … open to hearing and understanding what others have to say about a given situation. He asks questions to clarify his understanding. THEN … confident that he knows where others stand, he offers his ideas that may reinforce aspects of what others have said and suggest variations that he believes will make the difference.
Here is the CONFIDENT and COMFORTABLE me. He knows how he views this. He is willing to listen to the ideas of others and still believes there is excellent value to presenting his perspective of the situation … for the good of the organization. He sees himself as both a good listener and a spokesperson
Here is the IN YOUR FACE me. Brash and combative, he is so determined to make his point and be heard that he appears insensitive to the opinions of others. In fact, he is often the first one to speak his mind and is so pleased with himself that he fails to really listen and hear what others have to offer. Team player he is not.
The Benefits of A Multiple Lense View
When it comes to personality, it may be helpful to remember that there is no “best” personality type. However, learning about the diverse types of personalities may provide insight into yourself and thus, the best way for one to be. Additionally, uncovering and understanding our potential weaknesses might help us to identify areas where we can challenge ourselves to grow as people and our successes.
By working to understand and appreciate differences between how you and others approach life, you may find a powerful catalyst for personal development. When we try to understand someone else, we broaden our ability to see other ways to be. When we seek to understand something from a perspective other than our own, our mindset may become more open, and we might find greater capability for appreciating and respecting ourselves and others.
In Conclusion
In doing perspective work we have given ourselves the opportunity to see the stumbling block differently … and then we get to choose how we want to proceed by drawing upon any of the traits our ‘other’ persona offers. There is no right or wrong. Viewing any decision, we have in front of us through various perspectives is a very effective way to create the move-forward path that you believe will best work for you. Whether you step into the shoes of the Incredible Hulk or the Flying Nun … whether you are contemplative or bold … makes no difference. Doing it does truly provide a breakthrough leading to effective action. Try it! You may really like the look! Mike Dorman
In many companies, the early part of the year signals the annual review time. Whether it’s dreaded or positively anticipated has to do with a couple of things. The reviewer in terms of how much effort they put into it and importance they place on it. To the one being reviewed, the review is impacted in terms of how seriously she or he hears and accepts it. A forthcoming review is an opportunity to go beyond hearing how one is performing and being eligible for a raise.
In fact, a performance review is an opportunity for employees to highlight their strengths and accomplishments as they shine a spotlight on the contributions that have been made. In doing so one helps the company leaders see them for the potential they offer going forward. Thus, the reviewee creates opportunities for themselves as they work to grow and succeed in their career.
The to-do list of actions that provide cement leading to job opportunities.
Here is a fairly straight forward to-do list for making your next review work in one’s favor:
Your own personal attitude toward your review
What is the value you want and anticipate getting from it?
What are reasons that keep you from wanting to have a review and what can you do to rethink and alter your attitude?
How can your review help you to grow and improve in your work and thus enhance your value to the organization?
How do you want to ‘be’ as a reviewee … how do you want to be perceived by your reviewer?
Come Prepared
Before your performance review, take some time to reflect on your work over the past year.
Make a list of your accomplishments, challenges you overcame, and any feedback or suggestions you received from colleagues or supervisors. This will help you be prepared for the conversation and allow you to speak confidently about your work.
Where have you seen growth and what can you point at that confirms this growth?
What accomplishments have you made that reflect the input you received from your previous review?
Be Positive During your performance review.
Try to maintain a positive attitude, even if you receive constructive criticism.
Listen actively to the feedback provided and ask questions if you need clarification.
Remember that the feedback is not a personal attack, but rather an opportunity to grow and improve.
Acknowledge Feedback
When you receive constructive feedback, it can be tempting to become defensive or dismissive. However, this will only make the situation worse. Instead, take the feedback seriously and thank your supervisor for their insights.
Show that you are committed to improving and ask for suggestions on how to do so.
Highlight Achievements
When discussing your accomplishments, be specific and provide examples of how you
contributed to the team or organization.
Highlight any projects you led, goals you achieved, or improvements you made.
Quantify your results where possible, such as increased sales, improved customer satisfaction, or reduced costs.
Personal growth goals for the coming year
Use your performance review as an opportunity to discuss your goals for the upcoming year.
Be specific about what you hope to achieve and how you plan to do so.
What is your devised plan for achieving these goals?
Consider any development opportunities or training you would like to pursue to help you reach your goals.
Emphasize Teamwork
In addition to discussing your individual accomplishments, emphasize how you have contributed to the team.
Discuss any collaborations you participated in or any support you provided to colleagues.
Show that you are committed to the success of the team and the organization as a whole.
Be Professional
Throughout your performance review, it is important to maintain a professional demeanor.
Avoid becoming defensive, emotional, or confrontational.
Stay focused on the conversation and be respectful to your supervisor.
Remember that your attitude and behavior during the review can have an impact on your future opportunities within the organization.
Ask for help that will help you achieve your goals.
Identify training or experience that you feel you need to achieve the goals you have identified.
Ask for added input of other learning that you need to do to reach your identified next goal.
How do you make the review and interactive meeting?
Given a desire to increase one’s value to the organization what do you want to do to make certain the meeting is very interactive?
What is the level of interest and attitude that you want to convey to your reviewer?
How do you want your reviewer to perceive you in this meeting and what is that going to require on your part?
In Conclusion
Spending the time to consider and have answers to the above questions will only help to make you a willing and interested participant in your review meeting. Showing your interest and really preparing for your review enables you to come across as the one to keep. You will be making the boss less interested in looking elsewhere at the same time you get what you want … your job and its’ potential! Seems like this is a winner from all sides AND it actually is inexpensive cement … just your time and attitude.
Turning your performance review into a strong positive requires preparation, a positive attitude, acknowledgement of feedback, highlighting achievements, discussing goals, emphasizing teamwork, and professionalism. Doing this can only reap benefits that go well beyond current review itself. Mike Dorman
Introduction: As a business coach, I’ve observed that many busy leaders struggle with procrastination in decision-making. This often stems from a desire to make the perfect decision, which can lead to analysis paralysis and hinder progress. In this post we will look at procrastination in decision-making and how trusting your gut instinct can help you overcome this challenge.
The True Cost of Procrastination and the Perils of Perfectionism:
When decision-making is delayed, the consequences can ripple throughout an organization. Procrastination can lead to missed opportunities, decreased productivity, and even lost revenue. Moreover, the inability to make timely decisions can erode trust among team members and undermine an executive’s credibility.
Perfectionism is often at the root of decision-making procrastination. Many executives want to make the best possible decision, fearing that any misstep could damage their reputation or negatively impact the company. However, this mindset can be counterproductive, as waiting for the “perfect” choice can cause valuable time and resources to be wasted.
Two Key Types of Procrastination and the Reasons Behind Them
Co-authors Liz Fosslien and Mollie West Duffy addressed this issue in a research project pertaining to the underlying emotional discomforts we all encounter from time to time. Subconsciously, they can prompt us to avoid starting a task, or in some cases, avoid one’s completing it. It is perfectionism and fear that are the real reasons we put off tasks at work. A consistent theme for people who’ve started to combat procrastination is letting go of the idea that everything they put out needs to be A+ work.
There are two key types of procrastination:
Procrastination Type 1 – Trouble Getting Started
One simply doesn’t know where to start. Perhaps the task is too nebulous or intimidating. It’s pretty tough to get started on something when you literally have no idea what the first step should be. You are left with too many unanswered questions pertaining to the likes of budget, approach and ultimate goal.
The task might be so big that it’s overwhelming, and you find yourself paralyzed. It’s tempting to simply pretend the task doesn’t exist. Maybe you dive into some smaller, business-as-usual work that lets you ignore the problem while still feeling
You feel inadequate. Although one has some of the skills and knowledge needed to address
the issue there are aspects of the task for which experience and knowledge is lacking. Although willing to try, others may question why a person lacking in an area would take on such a challenge. It’s not the quality of one’s work. Rather the question of why one would even think of stepping into such a space.
You don’t want to do this task in the first place. Perhaps it’s work for which you question its’ value and importance. Or, you don’t see this as taking the team in the right direction. Though it may appear that you are just dragging in your efforts, in reality you are truly conflicted and haven’t begun yet.
Procrastination Type 2 – Inability to Finish the Work
When time is not the issue and yet can’t bring it to completion the root cause is almost always … FEAR. Being afraid that others won’t like the work, one finds ways to avoid putting it out there.
Being driven by one’s inherent need to be perfect in all they do. In doing so one becomes less open to what can be valuable feedback. So much time has been spent working toward perfection that even trivial critiques become extremely personal.
Embracing Imperfection and Trusting Your Gut: It’s essential for busy leaders to recognize that no decision is perfect and that waiting for the ideal option can be detrimental. By trusting your gut instinct and making decisions based on available information, you can move forward and adapt as needed.
Tips for Overcoming Decision-Making Procrastination:
Set deadlines: Establishing a specific timeframe for making a decision can help you focus and avoid falling into the trap of endless deliberation.
Prioritize decisions:
Identify which decisions are most critical and focus on them first. By addressing the most pressing issues, you can alleviate some of the pressure that comes with decision-making.
Embrace uncertainty: Understand that there will always be unknown factors in any decision, and that some degree of uncertainty is inevitable. By accepting this reality, you can become more comfortable making decisions with incomplete information.
Consult with others: Seeking input from trusted colleagues or advisors can provide fresh perspectives and help you evaluate your options more objectively.
Reflect on past successes: Remind yourself of previous instances when you made successful decisions by trusting your gut instinct. This can boost your confidence in your ability to make sound choices.
The Benefits of Decisive Action: By overcoming procrastination in decision-making, leaders can reap numerous benefits, including:
Faster progress: Timely decisions enable organizations to capitalize on opportunities and stay ahead of the competition.
Increased productivity:
When decisions are made promptly, employees can focus on executing tasks and achieving goals, rather than waiting for direction.
Enhanced team morale: Decisive leadership fosters a sense of confidence and trust among team members, leading to a more motivated and engaged workforce.
Improved adaptability: By making decisions and taking action, executives can learn from experience and make course corrections as needed, ultimately leading to better outcomes.
Conclusion: Procrastination in decision-making can be a significant obstacle for busy leaders at all levels of an
organization. However, by recognizing the costs of delaying decisions and embracing imperfection, leaders can learn to trust their gut instincts and make more timely, effective choices. By implementing the tips outlined above, procrastination can be overcome, productivity will increase and greater success will be achieved.
Procrastination serves a useful purpose! If procrastination is a symptom of emotional discomfort, that means it’s one’s brain telling them what they need in that moment. The trick is recognizing and interpreting the procrastination in the right way. Mike Dorman
Regardless of the type or size of an organization, one challenge that permeates most, at all levels, is the tendency and willingness of people to move forward on a project, in their overall job or simply general conversation based on what they understood. We often just assume that we ‘get it’ and don’t need to or feel we have the freedom to question … whether it comes from a boss or co-worker. Unfortunately, how we interpret what we heard or saw doesn’t make it correct. It’s our assumption rather than knowing it to be fact and that’s when problems arise … problems that often prove to be costly, cause frustration and ultimately, a general unrest within the team.
I hasten to say that this situation is far from rare. In fact, it lays at the foundation of many issues that rear their head within any company … how to have good, clear, basic and effective communication. Whose job is it to get clarification that aligns all behind the same understanding? The answer is simple. It’s everyone’s job. The organization’s ultimate desire and goal is to operate with the maximum level of efficiency and the minimum amount of rework. The employee wants to be successful in their work and be appreciated for their contribution. The starting point for this happening comes through an across-the-board effort to have clear communication and arriving on the same page of shared understanding.
Mara Vizzuitti penned an article entitled “The Poser in Checking Out Your Assumptions” that addressed this issue. She said that “As long as we’re in relationships with others, be it in the workplace or in our personal lives, we are only going to have communication glitches. We would do well to expect them. One of the reasons for this is our propensity for making assumptions about people and events that occur around us. Most of the time, our assumptions are just plain wrong.
In other words, we’re pretty good at deciding what that ‘look’ means or what that ‘email’ means. We even assume we know what people are thinking. It is natural to make judgments, as our brains are constantly processing information. However, we make up stories about the “way he or she is” potentially creating issues with others that don’t exist. It is likely that 80 percent of conflict is based in fantasy.”
We have all experienced this scenario. We see someone make a face at something we may have said and immediately we tend to make up what that means. Like … they don’t like the idea … it’s a silly one … they don’t think we know what we’re talking about … or they just disagree with us. All of this is because of someone else’s look or action. And … unless we are willing to question what we saw we will not ever know that our assumptions are, in fact, true or just an erroneous assumption?
Four Basic Reasons We Should Stop Making Assumptions
An Assumption actually closes our mind Once we have made a judgment about a person or an idea, this becomes a default position. Changing that opinion is the challenge as it has been adopted as our truth and difficult to shake off.
An assumption leads to judgment NOT based on wisdom and discernment It is the process of jumping to a conclusion without any supporting evidence
An assumption based on another’s opinion can upset and undermine a team Simply adopting the opinion of another person as fact influences the way we respond and relate to that individual. That it is not based in fact or our own experience can easily upset both the individual and the effectiveness of the group. And there goes the motivation to work cohesively to accomplish the objectives.
Assumptions we hold make it difficult for us or another to change our mind
When a judgment is made based on an assumption rather than fact we hold onto it as our truth. That confidence serves to close our minds to another possibility and thus changing how we see something becomes much more difficult.
Curiosity Becomes the Path to Establish Fact Over Assumptions
If we don’t make assumptions, we can focus our attention on the truth, not on what we think is the truth. Then we see life the way it is, not the way we want to see it. When we don’t believe our own assumptions, the power of our belief that we invested in them returns to us.
What is very important is that we become curious and enter a communication wanting to truly ‘hear’ the response regardless of what it may be. Here are some simple ways to check out our assumptions as identified by Vizzutti:
Ask Permission: Can I check something out with you?
Describe the behavior: Yesterday, I noticed you made a face while I was presenting my suggestions for moving forward …
State your Assumption: “I assumed you were upset with what I had said …”
Ask an open-ended question: “Is this true? What were you thinking?
In making your inquiry as you seek to determine the validity of your ‘made-up’ conclusions you are going to find out one of two things: Either …
you will find that your assumptions were just wrong and nowhere near the truth. or …
you will determine that your interpretation is correct and you can then have open conversation to understand the other person(s) better and create how you can avoid such unintended consequences or at least minimize this in the future.
Regardless of what you discover you will then know how you should and need to proceed. Perhaps nothing other than to work to tame your imagination. Or you will need to have more conversations to understand the other person’s point of view. Just remaining satisfied that your original assumption is right will eventually impact the relationship negatively resulting in withdrawal from the other person(s). That in turn can clearly impact both the organization’s success and one’s personal satisfaction and enjoyment of his/her jobs.
Think about it. All it takes is talk … something we do pretty easily! Mike Dorman
There is a second approach to accomplishing the same thing and this one allows us to see ourselves through our different looks. For those who have received and read past blogs, you must recognize me as looking in one of these two ways. They both represent the way I generally see myself for all the advantages … and disadvantages … that they might represent. Yet it’s me and the person I know the best. And yet I realize that given those I am trying to convince of something and their personalities this natural Mike may not succeed.
understanding what others have to say about a given situation. He asks questions to clarify his understanding. THEN … confident that he knows where others stand, he offers his ideas that may reinforce aspects of what others have said and suggest variations that he believes will make the difference.
heard that he appears insensitive to the opinions of others. In fact, he is often the first one to speak his mind and is so pleased with himself that he fails to really listen and hear what others have to offer. Team player he is not.
