Regardless of the type or size of an organization, one challenge that permeates most, at all levels, is the tendency and willingness of people to move forward on a project, in their overall job or simply general conversation based on what they understood. We often just assume that we ‘get it’ and don’t need to or feel we have the freedom to question … whether it comes from a boss or co-worker. Unfortunately, how we interpret what we heard or saw doesn’t make it correct. It’s our assumption rather than knowing it to be fact and that’s when problems arise … problems that often prove to be costly, cause frustration and ultimately, a general unrest within the team.
I hasten to say that this situation is far from rare. In fact, it lays at the foundation of many issues that rear their head within any company … how to have good, clear, basic and effective communication. Whose job is it to get clarification that aligns all behind the same understanding? The answer is simple. It’s everyone’s job. The organization’s ultimate desire and goal is to operate with the maximum level of efficiency and the minimum amount of rework. The employee wants to be successful in their work and be appreciated for their contribution. The starting point for this happening comes through an across-the-board effort to have clear communication and arriving on the same page of shared understanding.
Mara Vizzuitti penned an article entitled “The Poser in Checking Out Your Assumptions” that addressed this issue. She said that “As long as we’re in relationships with others, be it in the workplace or in our personal lives, we are only going to have communication glitches. We would do well to expect them. One of the reasons for this is our propensity for making assumptions about people and events that occur around us. Most of the time, our assumptions are just plain wrong.
In other words, we’re pretty good at deciding what that ‘look’ means or what that ‘email’ means. We even assume we know what people are thinking. It is natural to make judgments, as our brains are constantly processing information. However, we make up stories about the “way he or she is” potentially creating issues with others that don’t exist. It is likely that 80 percent of conflict is based in fantasy.”
We have all experienced this scenario. We see someone make a face at something we may have said and immediately we tend to make up what that means. Like … they don’t like the idea … it’s a silly one … they don’t think we know what we’re talking about … or they just disagree with us. All of this is because of someone else’s look or action. And … unless we are willing to question what we saw we will not ever know that our assumptions are, in fact, true or just an erroneous assumption?
Four Basic Reasons We Should Stop Making Assumptions
An Assumption actually closes our mind Once we have made a judgment about a person or an idea, this becomes a default position. Changing that opinion is the challenge as it has been adopted as our truth and difficult to shake off.
An assumption leads to judgment NOT based on wisdom and discernment It is the process of jumping to a conclusion without any supporting evidence
An assumption based on another’s opinion can upset and undermine a team Simply adopting the opinion of another person as fact influences the way we respond and relate to that individual. That it is not based in fact or our own experience can easily upset both the individual and the effectiveness of the group. And there goes the motivation to work cohesively to accomplish the objectives.
Assumptions we hold make it difficult for us or another to change our mind
When a judgment is made based on an assumption rather than fact we hold onto it as our truth. That confidence serves to close our minds to another possibility and thus changing how we see something becomes much more difficult.
Curiosity Becomes the Path to Establish Fact Over Assumptions
If we don’t make assumptions, we can focus our attention on the truth, not on what we think is the truth. Then we see life the way it is, not the way we want to see it. When we don’t believe our own assumptions, the power of our belief that we invested in them returns to us.
What is very important is that we become curious and enter a communication wanting to truly ‘hear’ the response regardless of what it may be. Here are some simple ways to check out our assumptions as identified by Vizzutti:
Ask Permission: Can I check something out with you?
Describe the behavior: Yesterday, I noticed you made a face while I was presenting my suggestions for moving forward …
State your Assumption: “I assumed you were upset with what I had said …”
Ask an open-ended question: “Is this true? What were you thinking?
In making your inquiry as you seek to determine the validity of your ‘made-up’ conclusions you are going to find out one of two things: Either …
you will find that your assumptions were just wrong and nowhere near the truth. or …
you will determine that your interpretation is correct and you can then have open conversation to understand the other person(s) better and create how you can avoid such unintended consequences or at least minimize this in the future.
Regardless of what you discover you will then know how you should and need to proceed. Perhaps nothing other than to work to tame your imagination. Or you will need to have more conversations to understand the other person’s point of view. Just remaining satisfied that your original assumption is right will eventually impact the relationship negatively resulting in withdrawal from the other person(s). That in turn can clearly impact both the organization’s success and one’s personal satisfaction and enjoyment of his/her jobs.
Think about it. All it takes is talk … something we do pretty easily! Mike Dorman
Chances are that March Madness has been getting your attention over the past couple of weeks. As the ‘final four’ emerges soon, we get to watch teams work together like well-oiled machines. They read each other well, anticipate what their teammate is about to do and know where they need to be; and they recognize their individual win is only there because the team is successful. What did it take to achieve this? A LOT of work on the part of the player, clear guidance and overall, the recognition that the individual wins only because the team wins. This is the essence of ‘Team Spirit’.
What March Madness Demonstrates That Can Be Applied to a Work Team?
I have the opportunity to work with individuals in the business world, most of whom are a part of a team. And the learning from March Madness has dual application. The first is the learning that can be applied to the team as a whole. Consider these lessons and consider from the vantage point of your team:
Rooting for more than just ones’ own team when watching the games all of us have our favorite team be one an alma mater, the underdog or oftentimes more than one team. The same holds true in business. One can root for and support a variety of ‘teams’ that enhance everyone’s experience. And most often overall success requires the ‘win’ provided by various teams.
A shared level of excitement and enthusiasm regardless of position Regardless of the role one plays on the basketball team, all share the same level of enthusiasm and the energy that requires. From the bench or the court the passion and drive to win is shared and ever present. At work, having an organization’s members understand and root for the same success regardless of their individual role definitely impacts the success achieved.
Believe! Regardless of a team being ranked number 1 in their bracket or clearly being seen as the underdog,
it is prudent that all believe in the underdog as this year’s contest has demonstrated. And applying this to a business wherein one might be competing against some giants is key and one only needs to believe a win is possible.
Don’t take a win for granted So far this year’s tournament has spoken to this not once but three times wherein top seeds have been eliminated. It appears evident that the losing teams anticipated a relatively easy win. In business, preparation and seriousness are needed for even the simple of small tasks. Indifference can breed failure.
Learn from mistakes and move forward Within March Madness one either wins or goes home. Regardless of a game’s outcome it is
very important to review mistakes and learn from them. In a team sport or a business learning from a less than result allows it to benefit the next time one is in a similar situation.
The Importance and Value of ‘Clicking’ With Teammates For Success
The second area of learning that comes from March Madness is a big source of frustration with the inability to ‘click’ with other team members. They all know how important strong communication is to accomplish the team’s goals and tasks. And yet, not clicking gets in the way of this. The curious thing though, is that there is often a tendency to just accept this fact with a shoulder shrug – “oh well … you can’t mesh with everybody”. Sadly, there is a tendency to settle for this as ‘just the way it is’. But wait a second! Isn’t there a cost to “just settling”. Of course, there is! As it turns out, the cost is real and potentially significant. And more than that, it’s not necessary. Here are steps that are within each individual’s power to change relationships for the better.
First … You must buy into the fact that the better the entire team meshes and works well as a team, the more realistic is the ability to reach the goal in the most effective way. If you don’t believe this … STOP reading, as the rest of the steps will be meaningless.
Second … You must allow yourself to be curious as to what is getting in the way of you “meshing” with your fellow team members.
Third … you must be willing to identify the issues that you sense with any team member and then … address them. Is your issue based on fact or assumption?
If based on fact, what would you like to see change and what are you willing to do to make that happen?
If based on an assumption, you’ve made a judgment that is potentially wrong and you need to ask for clarification. Often the clarification alone clears up the issue.
Fourth … With clarity about the issue, you now can create an alliance with that person going forward. Creating and maintaining the alliance helps to avoid falling into old habits. You can now confidently move forward in the spirit of cooperation and success.
What do you want to count on the other person(s) to do, to say or to act and under what circumstances?
And in exchange, what they can count on you for under the same circumstances?
Good communication requires that we learn to be as good at listening as we are a communicator. Truly exciting is to witness clients who did not “mesh” and just tolerated now soar both individually & as a team. Why? Because they have chosen to move away from tolerating to be positive & intentional about relationships w/fellow team members.
For the next couple of weeks we have games to watch and teams to cheer. Hopefully as we witness some of the magic, we will see the connection will become apparent. What is the learning that can be applied to the organization, the team or the individual? What can we take as a fan of this pastime and bring it to life in business? If we let it, we are going to have a take-away from March Madness that can put us on the winning team. Mike Dorman
Often, when working with a coaching client he or she has an idea or a request that they would like to propose and present to their manager. Or, the communication is in the other direction … a manager approaching a report with an idea for something new or a needed change. And although a person might have a clear idea of what it is that they want to communicate, they struggle with the right approach. How to present their message so that it is heard, understood, considered and eventually embraced becomes the challenge.
Granted, some find approaching a person to whom they report to be somewhat intimidating. And in the other direction the challenge is communicating whatever issue to a report that you want embraced is not automatic. In both situations the challenge is the same and as a result, the desired message can easily be lost and the desired results go with that.
BARRIERS THAT GET IN THE WAY OF EFFECTIVELY COMMUNICATING
Barriers to good and effective communication have always existed with the related challenges. For sure, these recent COVID impacted times have only served to exacerbate the challenges. Adding the ingredients of remote workersmakes barriers more pronounced. Here are some of the more prevalent barriers that readers will easily recognize:
Reliance on technology to disseminate the key message related to the communication. Granted ever-expanding technology has its’ value. However, it is hard to imagine that this will ever surpass the effectiveness of direct and clear conversations
Assuming that one’s audience understands the jargon being used. It’s one thing when one is discussing a plan or concept with someone of the same understanding and knowledge. However, often presentations of a concept leading to change are made to those not in these categories. Thus, the presentation to the audience must be in a language they will understand without major effort.
Inconsistency of communications related to whom is told what. Without a planned approach as to who should and needs to know and making certain that all receive the same input is a path to problems. This leads to others passing along the information in their individual ways with their individual degree of understanding. Good and desired results are unlikely to happen.
Believing that all people are effective communicators. Approaching needed communication with such an assumption can be damaging. Be it a leader or their report, this challenge exists and clearly does not easily lead to the outcome desired.
Not listening to one’s audience
Too often, the one communicating is so intent on what they want to present, they fail to allow space for the other(s) to make comments or express their opinions. Rather than getting another on board, this serves to shut down the desired outcome.
GETTING BEYOND THE BARRIERS
Communication of ideas, changes and needs are dependent on being understood to achieve the desired success and acceptance. Therefore, taking time to plan one’s approach to the message as well as the message itself is key. Here are some basic A,B,Cs of effectively communicating to enhance the likelihood of success:
Flexibility … not in what you want to convey … rather how you will convey it. It’s very imperative to know the points one intends to make when communicating the message to their audience. And yet, rigidity related to a predetermined method of delivery can leave the listener behind. Certainly, this is not what one would want to do when ‘selling’ their idea. Allow for going off a script … not the message.
Don’t clutter the message using filler words. Communicating one’s thoughts or ideas in a message filled with uhhs and umms conveys anything but confidence and clarity. Others can interpret this as uncertainty and thus diminish the true value and importance of the information being presented.
Recognize silence ‘in the room’ as a positive. Often times communicating an idea with enthusiasm can be greeted by silence from the listener(s). That can be unnerving especially if one chooses to interpret that as resistance or rejection of the topic. However silence can be a good thing as the audience is digesting and considering what one has presented. Allowing and even expecting that can further the likelihood of enthusiastic embracing of the intent of the presentation.
Remove words from a presentation that discount one’s credibility. As presenter, one is wanting to convey something that often represents change. In doing so the mission is better accomplished when a conscious effort is made to eliminate words and phrases that indicate a lack of confidence. Expressions such as ‘in my opinion’, ‘I was thinking’ or qualifier words such as ‘sometimes’, kind of or sort or water down and weaken the message. They discount one’s credibility and signal that perhaps you don’t really believe your own message.
Do not presume that every listener understands and is keeping up with what is being presented. This ties into having a planned message while not being so rigid that one doesn’t have a chance to ascertain that they are bringing their listener along with them. Periodically check in asking the listener to give back the understanding they have pertaining to what has been expressed. In doing so one is certain that they are not leaving behind the very one they want to endorse the idea.
Be open to and encourage feedback from the listener(s). The ultimate degree of success and success itself is influenced by the acceptance and embracing of the idea, change or concept being presented to anyone. Thus, encouraging and listening to feedback puts one on the path for getting to the intended goal because that presenter has been open to hearing input and suggestions from the very people on whom they depend to implement the idea.
Effectively communicating within an organization is not the sole job of various leaders. Rather, it should become the goal of all members of a team. Where it doesn’t exist, I can attest to the fact that it results in some feeling undervalued and unengaged. Strong communication skills are not always easy to develop. It takes developing the mindset and determination to accept nothing less of oneself. At the end, it is definitely worth it. At every level members of the organization feel more satisfied in their work and definitely comfortable collaborating with others on innovative approaches. For the organization and those in it, it’s a win desired by all. Mike Dorman
Certainly as related to our jobs the effort we put forth is aimed at achieving specific goals. Be them for the year, the month or simply a day, there is one significant ingredient necessary for efforts to be realized as intended. That is, one’s ability to be in and maintain focus. It has everything to do with achieving anything we set out to do and the further away the intended goal … the greater the opportunity for distractions will only serve to get in the way of our success.
An article written by the editorial team of ‘MindTools’ defined focus as: “ Your ability to center your attention and energy on a specific task, object, or activity, for a sustained length of time. It’s often quite simple to focus on the more routine and repetitive short-term tasks and goals. Why? Because we are often familiar with the task and as such doesn’t require intense concentration and focus. We can get desired results quickly, and this helps to keep your motivation levels high with a soon to be realized goal.
However, trying to tackle and achieve a task that is somewhat complex is a different ball game. These often require research and learning. These often are only occasional challenges that lack the familiarity that allow us to confidently accomplish them. It is also more difficult to see the progress, especially as we begin the task. This means that it’s easy to get distracted by shorter-term priorities, and by other projects that seem more exciting. However, the ability to focus on the long term is a key skill for anyone who wants to be successful.
I refer to the things that get in the way of maintaining needed focus as ‘Blips’. Think lightning bugs that are all round us and serve as distractions to the focus we want and need to maintain. And although one’s desire and intent is clear and present there are several things that tend to be blips within their vision that divert attention elsewhere and take us off track. Here are a few. Maybe you’ll see yourself in some of them:
Blip # 1 We get a telephone call or hear the tone of an incoming email … at the same time you’re trying to work through a particularly challenging aspect of your ‘plan or task’. What do we do? We take the call or open and respond to the email and why? Because we can and it’s comparatively easy when we feel a bit stuck in working on a part of our plan.
Blip # 2 A co-worker or report stops by wanting just a second of our time and in the name of being ‘nice’ and wanting to be helpful, we stop what we’re doing on the plan and become side-tracked on something totally unrelated. “Why” we ask ourselves? Because we want to help others achieve their tasks and being honest … the plan we’re prodding forward on is a challenge. Why not take a break and be helpful? Step aside plan!
Blip # 3 We remember something we promised to send to a customer or client and realize that we should do this now while thinking of it even though it’s not due this moment. But what the heck … we’ll get it to them on the early side and honestly … we’ll accomplish something positive and avoid the struggle we’re having in executing our plan that will elevate our success.
Blip # 4 We know that executing our plan is going to be a challenge. Why? Because one has a history of not maintaining focus and because the plan calls for them to do things that are just uncomfortable. At least we’re honest and maybe with time we’ll get more comfortable and follow through. So great! We’ve just given ourselves the pass that threatens to undermine what we have designed for ourselves and achieving it.
While employers are actively trying to find ways to limit distractions, some things you can’t avoid; meetings, emails, and calls are typically part of the job. So, how can you avoid distractions at work without switching off your phone and laptop altogether?
Here is the good news. There are some rather simple things that can be done to help maintain the focus that the more challenging tasks require and allow us to achieve them in a timely manner. These are designed to help us avoid distractions and remain focused:
Have a Plan to which you commit Having a daily to-do list seems a bit simple perhaps, however, having a written plan of action for the
day is known to increase productivity. It provides an organized approach to the day and makes staying on track more realistic as you consistently refer to it.
Limit interruptions from well-meaning co-workers or reports How many times does someone approach to ask if you have a minute? Wanting to be helpful one often responds “sure” only to discover that many minutes are needed to provide what is desired. And that interruption often takes many more minutes for one to return to their project and remember where they were. Avoid this by asking what help is desired and suggesting that you can be available in i.e. 30 minutes. Often the response will be “no problem” and one is able to maintain the focus.
Avoid multitasking Often some pride themselves in their ability to have to have many balls in the air and accomplish them all. And yet, it has been proven that this especially does not work when trying to accomplish a challenging task that requires real concentration and focus.
Set boundaries with colleagues Speaking to employees, colleagues, and business partners is crucial for building a collaborative and friendly work environment. But if you spend too much time gossiping or discussing non-work-related topics, it can do more damage than good.
Don’t succumb to the lure of emails and texts When doing work, the one finds challenging from the start, interruptions like emails and texts can be a welcome diversion. Clearly without limits they will contribute to being unable to achieve the important goal as needed and desired.
Make time for scheduled breaks Plowing through a challenging task is enhanced when one allows themselves to actually schedule breaks of a few minutes. Walking, stretching or listening to favorite music becomes the ability to recharge and that’s important to staying the course. Working in time blocks is recharge time and makes one more productive in the long run.
Shut an office door or find a room where this can be done shutting the door can be a helpful way of showing others that you’re busy. It can also shut out the noise that may be distracting you from your work.
Create an email schedule This establishes a planned time when one will break to read and respond to emails awaiting in an inbox. It allows timely response to those needing input and relaxes one’s mind to know that important correspondence has been acknowledged and addressed.
If you struggle with workplace distractions, you are not alone. The more we can sensitize ourselves to recognize reoccurring ‘blips’ that serve to vie for our attention, we have the ability to see them as distractions that can get in the way of looking back on our day as an accomplished one. Emails, smartphones, calls, colleagues; the list goes on. Add to that an increasing number of people working remotely, there are even more distractions to handle. Children, family members, barking dogs, and a knock at the door are all hard to ignore. It’s no surprise that so many people struggle with distractions and staying focused at work. Some days it can feel like you are constantly being interrupted. Between meetings and conversations, it’s tough to focus on your work and get through your to-do list. And yet, implementing some of the suggestions above will return one’s sense of control and with that, accomplishment. Mike Dorman
The word ‘GRIT’ and ‘GRITS>’ has been around for many years. Perhaps you first heard of it as a food of Native American origin, most commonly served in the Southern United States. Then ‘grit’ went Hollywood long ago in 1968. Then the book, True Grit, was made into an academy award winning movie starring John Wayne … a film that was re-made a dozen years ago in 2010. So, we know that ‘grit’ is something we can eat and watch. Yet is there more? Evidently so because now GRIT is studied and acknowledged as a very meaningful personality trait badly needed today.
What makes it meaningful these days is the work that many businesses are having to do to re-emerge. Working tirelessly to move on from COVID, it is grit that is being referred to and called upon. It is grit that can really make a defining difference in business, differentiating the successful and achievers from those who are less so. Actually, it’s exciting. Whereas IQ has often been considered a good measurement for how well one might do in a given field … or in life, grit seems to be giving that concept a run for its money.
A researcher, psychologist and educator Angela Lee Duckworth, identified six characteristics of GRIT several years ago.
having true passion and perseverance to drive to the long-term goal.
having the stamina to stay the course.
sticking with your future, not for the day, week or month. For a very long time.
working very hard to make the future happen.
viewing life … not as a sprint … rather a marathon.
is not IQ. In fact, it is seen as being inversely related to talent or capabilities.
Without question, businesses and those working as its employees or employers, have struggled for the recent 2-3 years in attempts to survive something with which they had no experience … COVID. And, it is possible that the individuals who have been most responsible for the survival of the organization at all levels possess the characteristics attributed to ones having grit! It appears that the individuals who have made the greatest contribution to survival are those who would be labeled as possessing the grit gene. It’s a gene that is available to leaders and employees alike
We have had the opportunity to witness leaders and employees as they navigate the rough waters of recent times. And do you know what? In most every case that we’ve witnessed or read about, each person possessed many of the six personality components above. Whereas those considered the brightest in terms of IQ offer a clear value to an organization, when push comes to shove it’s not the IQ about the industry or the product that saved the day. It’s about the survival of the ‘grittiest’.
To what extent do you have it and is it evident in your organization? Are you using it to your advantage and that of your company? Can you see ways to up your ‘gritty-ness’? Seems like a good topic to think about. Yet is there more? Evidently so because today GRIT is back at the forefront once again being researched, studied and acknowledged as a very meaningful personality trait. It’s a trait that is seen once again as one that can really make a defining difference in business. It has the ability to differentiate the successful and achievers from those who are less so.
Actually, it’s exciting. Whereas IQ has often been considered a good measurement for how well one might do in a given field today, once again and because of the challenges of these past few years, grit seems to be giving that concept a run for its money. If you’re curious to measure your own personal degree of GRIT, you might get a kick out of taking a short quiz here. To what extent do you have it and is it evident in your organization? Are you using it to your advantage and that of your company? Can you see ways to up your ‘gritty-ness’? Seems like a good topic to think about. Perhaps a good thing to be curious about? Mike Dorman
Be open to and encourage feedback from the listener(s).
