Inspirational Leadership Archives

Jul 06 2022

When Leaders Apologize and The Impact on Ones They Lead

The news has been filled with horror stories pertaining to airline travel throughout the industry. The percentage of cancelled flights is mind boggling to say nothing of the havoc it wrecks on unsuspecting travelers. It has resulted in people looking forward to long delayed vacations sad, disappointed and just angry.

One leader … the CEO of Delta Airlines, Ed Bastian … was motivated to deliver an apology via letter to the most loyal customers and on Delta’s website. Bill Murphy, contributing editor at INC.com, praised this action as ‘a lesson in effective leadership’. You can dismiss this simply thinking that this example is from the CEO of one of the major companies in the world. And as such it may be easier. Yet, the need to be able to apologize is of greater importance and of greater potential impact in smaller organizations.

Unfortunately, the apparent rarity of saying “I’m sorry” at the top of company, team or store is causing challenges especially today. Given the stress and insecurity that have been a by-product of the past two+ years the need and advisability of this has achieved new height. I believe there are few, if any, leaders that would claim they’ve made only right and good decisions especially during this time. Employees are often told of their errors and what they need to be doing better. It is important that these same individuals understand that errors and poor decisions can be and are made at all levels. They are not limited to position, organizational size, type of business or scope of operation.

Offering an apology that motivates and encourages those being led

The foundation of an apology is the ownership it conveys saying that “I was and am responsible”. A mature and responsible leader knows that in some way they are a good part of the problem, and they willingly claim their share of anything that goes wrong. Here’s the bottom line. If ‘the boss’ makes an error or has made a decision that results in errors, an apology is in order. It is thus acknowledged and the steps that will be taken to ‘fix it’. It builds trust and a closer relationship with those who report to you as leader. Here are come suggested ways to do so effectively:

First, reflect on what was done or said.
Think about and analyze the overall situation and the impact the action had on an individual or team.
Deliver the apology in person if possible … however don’t delay.
Where the apology is directed at just one person, looking them in the eye and owning the leader’s
contribution to the issue is important for the leader’s credibility. This will allow the employee to feel more comfortable and confident to express themselves during the meeting. If in-person not immediately possible contact the individual in another way asap.
Take responsibility for your actions as leader.
After expressing remorse, provide specific actions and/or behavior that was done and the impact on the person or persons involved.
Lead the acknowledgement of the problem by going first.
Doing this serves to break the ice and make it okay for others to own their share of the issues and the situation becomes immediately better.
Be direct as to what went wrong and what you, as leader, did.
Vague doesn’t work. Given that the leader has examined what went wrong, convey in specific, direct terms what he/she did to contribute to the problem is key. It also makes this leader more effective as a leader.

Don’t defend what has been done.
A defense is often failing to accept responsibility. Leaders should avoid self-defense and blaming of others. Simply own it and apologize.

Make amends with the individual or group of employees as appropriate.
After explaining clearly what you as leader has done wrong, detail how this will be corrected and how the error will be avoided in the future. It demonstrates one’s willingness to both correct and overcome the issue. Doing so encourages reports to do the same.

Don’t confuse explanations with justifications.
There may well be reasons things happened or didn’t happen that caused the issue. However, the bottom line is there was still failure that occurred and that is never good. Take responsibility as this helps the other person feel better by allowing them to gather their dignity and confidence. In turn, this makes it easier for them to heal after the situation, which allows you to remain respected and appreciated as a supervisor.

Give them time to provide an appropriate response.
After presenting your apology, allow the employee time to take in your information and devise a response. They may need time to process what happened in the conversation. This may cause them to simply accept your apology or tell you they need time to think. Accept the response they give you and allow them some time to process the situation. They may approach you later with their own apology, or they may express their feelings with a thought-out speech.

Generally speaking, finding oneself in the position of needing to apologize for words or actions expressed to others is not a comfortable place to be. Especially, as a leader, this can and does provide a challenge. To some, being direct and acknowledging responsibility for an error that had trickle-down effect isn’t easy. To some, it is seen as conveying weakness for as a leader one should know better. Of course, that’s not true. To the extent that all leaders see themselves as ongoing learners, mistakes are going to happen. And that is what learning is all about in any position … even the leader. The bottom line is: a good boss should apologize after making a real error that offends or misleads their reports be it one or many. It does NOT undermine his position or make him seem weaker
Mike Dorman

May 04 2022

The Risks Of Acting Solely On the Basis of Our Assumptions

Regardless of type or size of an organization, one challenge that has permeated most, at all levels, is the tendency and willingness of people to move forward on a project, in their overall job or simply general conversation based on what they understood. We often just assume that we ‘get it’ and don’t need to or feel we have the freedom to question … whether it comes from a boss or co-worker. Unfortunately, how we interpret what we heard, or saw doesn’t make it correct. It’s our assumption rather than knowing it to be fact and that’s when problems arise. Problems that will often prove to be costly, cause frustration and, a general unrest within the team.

I hasten to say that this situation is far from rare. In fact, learning how to manage or work with our teams or co-workers has only become a bigger challenge. Today’s ‘new normal’ into which we are emerging simply enlarges the potential and challenge. In fact, it lays at the foundation of many issues that rear their head within any company … how to have good, clear, basic and effective communication.

Who owns the job of making certain there is a shared understanding?

Whose job is it to get clarification that aligns all behind the same understanding? The answer is simple. It’s everyone’s job. The organization’s ultimate desire and goal is to operate with the maximum level of efficiency and the minimum amount of rework. The employee wants to be successful in their work and be appreciated for their contribution. The starting point for this happening comes through an across-the-board effort of having clear communication and arriving on the same page of shared understanding.

Mara Vizzuitti penned an article entitled “The Poser in Checking Out Your Assumptions” that addressed this issue. She said that “As long as we’re in relationships with others, be it in the workplace or in our personal lives, we are only going to have communication glitches. We would do well to expect them. One of the reasons for this is our propensity for making assumptions about people and events that occur around us. Most of the time, our assumptions are just plain wrong.

In other words, we’re pretty good at deciding what that ‘look’ means or what that ‘email’ means. We even assume we know what people are thinking. It is natural to make judgments, as our brains are constantly processing information. However, we make up stories about the “way he or she is” potentially creating issues with others that don’t exist. It is likely that 80 percent of conflict is based in fantasy.”

We have all experienced this scenario. We see someone make a face at something we may have said and immediately we tend to make up what that means. Like … they don’t like the idea … it’s a silly one … they don’t think we know what we’re talking about … or they just disagree with us. All of this because of someone else’s look or action. And, unless we are willing to question what we saw we will not ever know that our assumptions are, in fact, true or just an erroneous assumption.

What problems are created when we operate on the basis of assumptions?

As a leadership coach Ben Brearly has researched this very issue and has identified ways in which making assumptions damages a team. First, he provides three reasons that we should all stop making them:

Making assumptions closes your mind
They create ‘labels’ that we attach to other i.e., fantastic, lazy and once attached they become harder to shake them off.

Making assumptions can upset your team
buying into the idea that Jim is lazy and thus not as productive as he needs to be or that Rita is a superstar and treating her as such risks demoralizing the rest of the team which doesn’t bring a winning outcome.
Making assumptions makes it hard to change your mind
If you take on opinions and have developed a perception of Jim, he is in for a tough life at work. He is going to have to work extra hard to fight back against that assumption and to change your mind. The only problem is, everything he does is likely to be seen in the light of “his laziness” and it becomes a hopeless cause.

If someone in your team is in this unfortunate situation because of an assumption of their behavior or ability, it will be a hard road for them to change your mind. The result is that they may choose to leave your team rather than enter a lengthy battle to change your mind. You may just have alienated someone who could have been good for the team.

Acknowledging that there are harmful and unproductive risks associated with making assumptions about people here are suggestions as to how we can stop doing this:

When you don’t have information, get three points of view.
At time, and especially today in a work-world shaped by COVID, we don’t have the chance to see your team members as closely as you’d like to. It’s tempting to just get somebody else’s opinion and use it as your own.

Instead, be patient. Collect opinions from at least three people who do have the opportunity to work with the person you are wondering about. Three opinions are better than one. If somebody close to you is trying to influence your opinion of somebody else, they are less likely to succeed if you use multiple sources to try to find the truth.
Understand people’s motives
When you hear somebody criticize someone’s work ethic or ability, be wary of taking this opinion for yourself. You always need to question the motives of people around you. Are they in competition with the other person? Do they feel threatened by their experience or skill?

You don’t need to act as if every comment is part of a murder mystery, but it still pays to be impartial, and to think about what may be driving the behavior of the person giving you the information.

How can we best counter a tendency to move forward only on our assumptions?

What is particularly important is that we become curious and enter a communication wanting to truly ‘hear’ the response regardless of what it may be. Here are some simple ways to check out our assumptions as identified by Vizzutti:

Ask Permission:
Can I check something out with you?
Describe the behavior:
Yesterday, I noticed you made a face while I was presenting my suggestions for moving forward …
State your Assumption:
“I assumed you were upset with what I had said …”
Ask an open-ended question: “Is this true? What were you thinking?

In making your inquiry as you seek to determine the validity of your ‘made-up’ conclusions you are going to find out one of two things: Either …

you will find that your assumptions were just wrong and nowhere near the truth.

or …

you will determine that your interpretation is correct, and you can then have open conversation to understand the other person(s) better and create how you can avoid such unintended consequences or at least minimize this in the future.

Regardless of what you discover you will then know how you should and need to proceed. Perhaps nothing other than to work to tame your imagination. Or perhaps you will need to have more conversation to understand the other person’s point of view. Just remaining satisfied that your original assumption is right will eventually impact the relationship negatively resulting in withdrawal from the other person(s). That in turn can clearly impact both the organization’s success and one’s personal satisfaction and enjoyment of his/her jobs.

Think about it. All it takes is talk … something we do pretty easily!
Mike Dorman

Mar 09 2022

Impactful Leadership Lessons From the Ukraine

With varying degrees of horror and serious concern the past 10 days have been filled with ongoing news pertaining to Russia’s drive to re-claim the Ukraine as their own. It is very clear that the majority of the world is behind Ukraine’s fight for their lives and their future.

On one side of this war … the ‘David’ of this contest … is one Volodymyr Zelenskyy … Ukraine’s president. It’s a role he has had since 2019. And his background that made his ascending to this position a natural? None for he was an entertainer and comedian. What he does demonstrate is that leaders can truly come from everywhere!

One strength that Zelenskyy’s background as a comic helped him develop was his ability to understand what motivates and inspires people. As we see and read daily is that he is using these skills to take them through the darkest of times. Here are the skills that he is employing in his leadership role. They are skills that are applicable and effective when used by any and all leaders.

As it is, Zelenskyy’s practices provide a very effective check list for a leader in any capacity within any organization to consider in self-evaluation:

Be Seen By Those One Leads
To the extent one wants to be admired and respected as a leader it’s simple … they must be seen. The transparent leader builds credibility and therefore trust and cooperation. No hiding behind rules and regulations will bring these critical results.

Be Both Active and Engaged With Those You Lead
Being willing to be a part of the needed action inspires others to want to follow one’s example. Being a ‘do as I do’ rather than ‘do as I say’ creates cohesiveness in achieving the goals of the organization.

Lead By Example
Too often leaders tend to stay in the background and lead through the likes of memos from the back of the room. Yet demonstrating one’s interest and willingness to be in the trenches in helping to achieve the goals has a very positive impact on followers. Leading by example breeds loyalty and enthusiasm to achieve the mission.
Communicate In the Most Effective Way Possible
Addressing followers in a manner that makes us realize that this is just one person who is the same whether have an individual or group conversation. Speaking with the press or being interviewed on television we hear the same person that we might know as leader. No playing a role. Rather just being a true self earns the respect and loyalty of those operating under the leadership.

Jessica Stillman, in writing for INC. magazine, quotes a Wharton professor, Adam Grant. He believes that “What makes leaders great isn’t just their internal characteristics, but their ability to understand and reflect the values and identity of those they lead.” Thus, this becomes the foundation of Zelenskyy’s approach. Grant further makes the point that “Psychologists find that we’re drawn to leaders who represent our group. The people we elevate into positions of authority aren’t typical members of our group–they’re prototypical members of our group. They’re the people we see as exemplifying the ideals of the group and acting in the best interests of the group.”

Zelenskyy ran to win the presidency of Ukraine a short 2+ years ago. He was determined to bring calm and peace to different factions within his country. He lack of experience as a politician caught the attention and support of the citizens. It’s a safe bet to think that he did not envision leading his country while embroiled in a war that threatens their very existence. Yet here he is … the comedian … who has risen to this very real-life threatening challenge to win the loyalty of his fellow Ukranians and the admiration of so much of the world.

I encourage all of us to use this leadership example as a litmus test to evaluate our own approach to leading. It makes no difference if one is leading an entire company, a department or a team. Leadership that embraces the ‘Zelenskyy methods’ cannot help but the develop the loyalty and following of those very ones on whom the desired success depends. He shows himself remaining resolute in adversity and still, always human and accessible.
Mike Dorman

Jan 20 2022

The Speed of New Innovations is Exciting … However, At What Impact and Costs?

In businesses as well as our personal lives, the speed with which advancing technology has brought change to how we function in so many ways. It creates true head-spinning. Just when we feel like we have mastered the last innovation and we are functioning easily, the next one arrives, and the learning must begin anew. Along with the excitement is created stress which can readily work again our individual and collective success.

I was recently introduced to the writings of Professor Ichak Adizes. He is at the helm of the Adizes Institute and is considered one of the world’s leading management experts. I listened to his presentation entitled “The Future of Management” in which he conveyed his beliefs on where we are in business today, where we came from and how we got from there to here. Furthermore, he expressed and related the concerns he foresees as we stay on our current evolutionary path.

I want to highlight some of the key points that Adizes has made and believe that you, the reader, will find them as interesting and thought provoking as I have.

Point # 1

‘The rate of change is unprecedented in the world. This is being driven by technology.’

COMMENTS:

Of course, there is little argument to make as anyone working in any kind of business has seen approaches and processes change dramatically. And speed of change has increased to an extent that it becomes a blur in one’s attempt to keep up and operate with the latest and greatest.

Point # 2

‘Everything in the world is a system. Each system is comprised of sub-systems. As humans we have sub-systems the likes of blood, nervous and skeletal. As a country these sub areas include economic, technological, legal and social. What we know is that sub-systems do not all change at the same speed. This creates problems. When systems don’t change at the same speed it creates gaps and cracks’

It doesn’t take long to validate this thinking by looking within a business today. As Adizes indicates,

The marketing department has a great idea that can impact the success of the company.
They present it to the advertising department that needs to understand and determine that realistic price and approach based on the value the product will provide.
The Sales department now must understand and then devise a sales approach that will attract customers who will want to buy this product.
Computer programs must be changed to reflect this new or improved product
Finally, the people producing and delivering this product need to understand and buy into it as if their invention. And people are the most difficult ones to change!

When the sub-systems don’t change at the same speed it creates gaps and cracks which in turn allows the system to become disintegrated. The higher the rate of change, the faster the disintegration. This, then, is what we would call a problem. And with such problems we grow the stress within the company and within the individuals involved in it.

COMMENTS:

Some twenty years ago an awareness of silos within an organization became very apparent. ‘My department is doinggreat … what’s your problem and you need to find out what it is and fix it’. The realization became that for an organization to hit their goals and targets, all needed to be focused on the overall company goal. Each area needed to design their efforts and approaches to achieve their part. Failure to do so would impact the other components and ultimately, the ability for the organization to hit the target. And above, they had to be willing to help those having challenges to overcome their obstacles. They needed to see themselves as a cohesive team with each needing the success of all to achieve the goal. This was then.

Today, when so much of what a company does and offers is impacted by the technology used to do this, it has once again, created a potential silo environment. This is contributing to loss of interest and motivation within the employee ranks. This has and can serve to slow down the rate of movement due to the disintegration that ongoing innovation has created.

Point # 3

‘Integrated systems require respect of others responsible for achieving the goal. With respect, we will learn from each other. This equals synergy which results in energy that leads to constructive integration. All of this happens when we respect different voices and trust that there is common interest despite differences. Respect differences and share the benefits you create together.

COMMENTS:

The lightening speed with which technological advances have altered the business environment have created internal competition that has gone beyond a healthy competitive approach. With different areas wanting to outdo others within the organization it tends to work against the desired progress and related timeline. The competition has come inside to an unhealthy degree when it is really the external competitors who require the focus.

Point # 4

‘Collaborative leadership rather than single individual leadership needs to be the mission. There should be no single leader. As such, one is promoting respect. It serves to reduce stress in the workplace. As well, we must realign sub-systems to that they don’t outpace each other and advance together. This too reduces damaging stress at work.’

COMMENTS:

Leaders that encourage the ideas, thoughts and approaches that all have to offer and remain open to seeing things differently are ultimately going to be more successful. Successful in retaining talent and creating a work environment where all feel valued and trusted. They also accelerate the energy that all willingly put into the job of meeting the expectation to the nth degree.

I have only touched upon Professor Adizes’ beliefs. To me they deserve thoughtful consideration as you evaluate where your organization is today. Technology has rendered the use of our brains a back burner activity. Artificial intelligence is on a path to rule our worlds. That is, unless we recognize that as humans working together, we can learn and apply all the ongoing innovation in a most successful way. Respecting and welcoming differences is the key to creating the harmony that leads to success.
Here is one meaningful quote from the professor. Peace is not sameness. Peace is Harmony. Pay attention to that word. Harmony is multiple voices singing together. Everyone singing in the same voice is not harmony.”

Now we just need to learn the song … or is it ‘RE-learn the song?
Mike Dorman

P.S. To hear the full recording of Prof. Adizes go here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ofhdzRjK96U

Jan 22 2020

Actually Being the Authentic Leader vs. Hiding Behind the Mask of One

It isn’t unusual that in being a part of the working world we do or will have an opportunity to lead. Regardless of that being there because we are a member of the organization’s leadership team, the head of a department or the leader of a special project, it clearly provides the chance for those lucky
enough to get this role to grow our skills and the value we offer to the team and the organization. The big challenge seems to come to many in terms of how to successfully execute the role of leader. For some it means wearing the mask of one enabling her or him to play the role as they believe a leader should. Unfortunately, that doesn’t often translate to being authentic and in today’s workplace being seen by others as authentic has become a key ingredient if one wants to be accepted and followed as their success requires.

mask

I work with many leaders as a coach. To a very large extent they are all skilled at the work they do and it’s easy to understand why they are in the role they have. And yet, one area that seems to be overlooked in numerous organizations is the need or advisability of providing training on the very skills that the most effective leaders demonstrate. Rather, it seems to be presumed that anyone put into the role of leader will do just fine and will ask for help if they need it. This is not my experience or observation and thus, I encounter a lot of masks.

There are a few reasons that one might have the inclination to hide behind the mask of a leader. These include:

To hide any insecurities we feel pertaining to the role that we have been given.
Be it that this role is a new experience or the group and related project we are leading is newterritory, feeling a bit of uncertainty is not unusual. For some, they believe donning the mask is a way to hide our true concerns and feelings from those looking to follow.
To pretend to be something that we don’t believe we are capable of being.
It appears that the boss thinks I can do a good job and thus, offers me the position of leader. Of course, I take it for all that it potentially means to me, the organization and my future. Still I’m not feeling very confident and thus, bring out the mask as protection.
To convey strength that one believes the followers will be inclined to follow.
Some equate that acting in a way that shows our strength will garner the respect that we need to be effective as a leader. But does it? Often this backfires and impacts the willingness of others to work in concert with their leader.

There are a few different traits that mask-wearing leaders demonstrate that are big clues as to one playing the role versus actually leading. These are:

Being judgmental in ways they think and view a situation or individual.
This leader believes they are supposed to understand and know why something happened or why another person fell behind on an assignment and therefore make a judgement that too often is simply wrong. Being curious through questioning will provide one with the real facts behind an action and then, the leader will be in a much better position to act.
Real leaders don’t cry … or resist showing emotions that reveal the ‘human’ side.
To the extent that we are concerned that to do so shows weakness we will often work hard to ‘fake it’ believing that our strength will be admired. Oops! Not so fast. Being real and unafraid to show vulnerability to others earns respect.
Speaking loudly believing it will command respect.
Theodore Roosevelt said to ‘speak softly and carry a big stick’. Yet behind the mask a leader associates speaking loudly or even shouting as demonstrating clear leadership and commanding respect. Addressing team members in a quieter and confident tone can do wonders in terms of having willing followers and listeners.
Holding a ‘final’ puzzle piece in the leader’s hands equating control with respect.
When the mask-wearing leader withholds the final answer or solution from another so that they will be needed to provide the situation solving solution they feel it communicates their importance and value to the project. It also often creates a revolving door of team members. Operating with the goal of replacing oneself in terms of helping a team to be able to operate without your involvement conveys both respect and self-confidence.

I am not implying that a leader wearing and operating from behind a mask hasn’t or can’t be successful. There have been many who have and do function in this manner with good results. However, a change that has occurred and had a real impact is the age of the workforce. Today, millennials make up about

75% of the workforce and being effective as a leader requires that we recognize this reality, become familiar with what drives this younger group and adapt the way we lead. To a large extent, a younger work base tends to be confident, technologically advanced and generally fast learners. They are and respect authenticity … from themselves and from others with whom they work. They want to be a key player in the success of the work being done and the mask-wearing leader is likely to encounter very real resistance from such members of a team if how they lead and relate to those on their team, demonstrates anything less.

Successfully leading is a challenge. And with so much changing, the most accomplished leader will do so with a real sense of self-awareness and an empowering management style that will engage the team. Wearing and operating from behind a mask risks conveying precisely what you don’t want to

communicate to those who follow. Understanding your impact on others … making a real effort to connect with each individual on the team … communicating in a clear and consistent manner … work to develop and demonstrate trust that you have in others and finally creating and communicating the vision toward which all can drive will make a mask something you can easily save for next Halloween.
Mike Dorman

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