Mike, Author at The Third Zone

Jul 09 2020

The ‘What If’ That Confront Us … Is Now Time to Seriously Consider?

A few weeks ago, I addressed the issue of What If. What if COVID-19 were here

to stay until next year in hopes that by then there would be a vaccine to treat it and even prevent us from getting the virus? What if the business or industry in which we worked continued to bleed and our jobs were not too secure? What if working from home was not a passing situation and it became necessary for us to settle into this ‘new’ work environment while remaining productive and pertinent to our employing organization?

Oh, I get it. Addressing these types of what ifs was nothing that was exciting or fulfilling inany sense. And some readers even told me as much. However, regardless of our wishful thinking and regardless of whether we listened to the messengers who predicted this would soon be over it appears that we just may be in this for many months ahead. Now what? The many inconveniences we needed to accept … the challenges associated with doing our work or having social interactions or having balance in our lives have potentially moved to the back burner. We probably don’t need much more evidence to inform us that we are in for a longer haul than we ever imagined then to witness the upward climb in the spread of this virus that we are experiencing today.

In my personal view, if addressing and creating the ‘what if’ plan made sense 3 months ago, today it seems imperative that we willingly do so today as we simply don’t

know how long added unemployment dollars will continue … how long certain business will be afforded loans to help maintain their teams … how long we will be able to earn the dollars needed to maintain our lives as we have known them. As the on-line ‘Atlantic’ magazine has called it … we are in ‘UNCHARTERED’ land with so little to look back on as a means of providing a road map that allows us to successfully navigate these waters in today’s world.

What A Successful ‘What If’ Plan Needs to Consider

To begin and for the exercise of seriously creating a ‘what if’ plan for ourselves, I’m going to dare to suggest in a wishful thinking mode that children will again be able to actually go to the classroom. Perhaps it won’t be daily or perhaps it will mean staggered attendance with some going only in the morning and others in the afternoon. Regardless, it means that our ability to work from home has been enhanced by the reduction of distractions.

Olga Khazan authored an article in the Atlantic entitled Work From Home Is Here to Stay … The future of jobs after the pandemic is a blurry mix of work, life, pajamas and Zoom. She interestingly addresses the potential benefits and negatives of what this means to employees and companies. And, as the title indicates, these are things that we must accept and to which we must adapt. The change has happened, and it has created a new normal in so many ways that seem out of our individual control.

Khazan sees the line separating work and home life has blurred in varying ways and raises the following questions:

How do I successfully create boundaries that allow me to maintain a balanced life made up of work and personal?
How do I create the connection with others that I thrive on as a motivator in the work I do?
How does the company evaluate and maintain confidence that I am being productive although not in the office?
How do I realistically establish a ‘work area’ at home that I can go to and then leave when the workday is over?
In representing the company, how can I monitor and track the work being done and the time being spent by home-based employees to insure the needed value?
What changes must the company make in terms of their attitudes and measurements that allow for an employee’s need to attend to other things at home during the workday?
To one in the boss’ role and whose job it is to motivate their reports how can I adjust my approach given the inability to bring all together in the same room?

Still and whereas these are all real and valid questions, Khazan concludes … “The post-pandemic workplace will have fewer lunches, happy hours, and conferences where schmoozers can make their mark. People who succeed are therefore likely to be those who can generate results without a lot of in-person interaction with their colleagues.

The Threat to Successfully Adapting

Although lots of discussion, I have been unable to find definitive answers to questions such as those posed above. Rather it appears to be work in progress. It’s understandable in that we are truly in unchartered territory … one in which we have been thrust without options to decide if we want to be there or not. And while we are all figuring out the how, why and when related to this new territory there is the very real and threatening potential of simply feeling burned out. According to the Harvard Business Review, this is seen as the greatest threat to adapting successfully and can clearly undermine all efforts we might be making to do so. Three ways are suggested to minimize and even avoid this happening and they are related to setting healthy boundaries between ones professional and personal lives.

Maintain physical and social boundaries
When going to the office we dress for work and we have some type of commute. At the end of the day or on weekends we dress differently and the work we might do isof a completely different nature. Although now that ‘home’ has become both the workplace and our residence, it is important that still maintain these differentiating boundaries. If it means getting dressed for work as we have always done, that is important … even observing ‘casual Friday’. Replacing a morning commute with a morning walk or run as if on the way to the workplace, that is what we do. Maintaining the work routine is key here.
Maintain boundaries that respect the needs and challenges of others as much as possible
This is critical for well-being and work engagement. So many of us working havethe challenge of integrating childcare or elder-care responsibilities during regular work hours. It’s challenging even for employees without children or other family responsibilities, thanks to the mobile devices that always keep our work with us . Sticking to a 9 to 5 work schedule may be unrealistic. All must be respectful of others in a similar situation. Being successful in establishing such boundaries often depends on the ability to coordinate ones’ time with others. The leader of your department or team can assist in making this real.
Focus on your most important work
While working from home, employees often feel compelled to project the appearance of productivity, but this can lead themto work on tasks that are more immediateinstead of more important—a tendency that research suggests is counterproductive in the long run, even if it benefits productivity in the short run. Employees, particularly those facing increased workloads as they juggle family and work tasks, should pay attention to prioritizing important work. We all need to find new ways—and help others do the same—to carve out non-work time and mental space. Employees will need the flexibility to experiment with how to make their circumstances work for them in these unpredictable times.

Of course, the choice of when and how we address today’s very real situation is ours

scrabble plan sign

is to individually make. To my way of thinking creating our individual plan as to how we will best deal with the “what if’ that we are better able to envision seems a wise way to spend some minutes. Now, some 5 months later, the need to do so is more realistic than not.Mike Dorman

Jun 16 2020

Other Than Protection … What Does Our Mask Provide Us?

Until recently we easily associated the use of a mask with a couple of areas. One was something we all associated with Halloween for whether worn a child or an adult. it was a part of a costume that allowed us to assume another identity … to pretend and be seen as someone other than the person we actually were. Another common and expected use was in a hospital-like setting wherein masks contributed to maintaining a needed sterile environment. And then, rather suddenly, the mask became a mandatory part or our everyday wear as a critical means of the prevention of getting or spreading a deadly virus.

globe with mask

Several months later the masks we wear or, at least, are supposed to wear, have become much a part of our daily existence. And as much as we want COVID-19 to be history along with all that it has come to represent in terms of impact on our lives, there is absolutely no evidence that it or the protective masks are soon to be gone … only wishful thinking. However, I’ve come to be sensitized to some who have actually begun to tolerate the wearing of their masks for what they interpret as other personal benefits.

This made me curious to gain a better understanding of what motivates some to historically wear some form of mask … what they provide to the wearer and what they help avoid or accomplish that would be a bigger challenge without it? What I’ve come to realize is that mask wearing is not new for many. This being the case, I wanted to gain an understanding of the value that a mask provides. Here is some of what I learned. Wearing a mask …

looking in mirror

allows us to project ourselves differently than we perceive us
- Do we tend to be shy and withdrawn? Our mask allows us to be bold and confident.
allows us to project agreement when it might be the right thing to do
- Do we have trouble hiding our feelings? Our masks prevent others from seeing our true reactions.

allows us to play our role as we think others expect of us
- Showing support to ‘the team’ when we really disagree with a decision made
allows us to live our lives as we really want to live them
- Is playing our role behind the mask allowing us to be the person we want however are held back by our own perception of self?

In today’s COVID-19 world we are all experiencing the physical act of donning our masks with consistency. In some ways it has made carrying on with our lives easier in that we don’t have to be as conscious of the hiding, protecting, faking and playing an expected or desired role. Thus, some describe this as a side benefit of living as we are today. And yet, we are all hopeful that there will be a preventative treatment for COVID-19 that will allow us to move freely throughout out lives confident in remaining healthy and the sooner the better.

When this day comes it also comes with an opportunity to those of us who have been wearing masks as an ongoing part of our existence. Sure, we can resume life as we know it however, we also will be faced with the opportunity to emerge from this health threat and emerge into a life that reflects our true selves. We will have the opportunity to truly be seen … as we are. Consider these points:

Become aware of when and under what circumstances you tend to don your mask
- When do we say something or act in a certain way wherein, we know we are not being authentic?
- Consider what we are trying to achieve in wearing our mask

Recognize that the mask you wear really isn’t who you are or want to be
- Often, we begin wearing a mask many years prior and have really outgrown the need to wearit. Habit allows us to continue … until we question ourselves
- Although seeing some benefits, how does it keep us from being who we want to be?
- Playing a role takes work which adds to rather than diminishes stress

Commit to being your true self and making that happen
- Review your actions after a meeting or at the end of the day intent on identifying where you realize you were ‘playing the role’ perhaps expected
- Become curious as to how your mask appears to others
- Identify the ways in which being your true self will make your life easier and more enjoyable

Let me summarize my learning. There are 3 very practical reasons to encourage and justify us to shed our non-COVID-19 masks. The first is because it enables us to live to our full potential. The second reason is simply to bring us relief as playing a role that is inauthentic is exhausting. The third reason is the healing it allows us to do because wearing our masks withholds some part of ourselves that we perhaps deem unworthy.

mask in hand

Hopefully and sooner than later, we are going to be able to step outside and interface with others and our world in general without the masks we are wearing today. It seems like an ideal time to do some personal self-evaluation that makes certain that we also remove all the masks we might be wearing. As Oscar Wilde said, “Be yourself; everyone else is taken.” We weren’t born with masks. We put them on, so we can take them off. Sounds like a plan, goal and opportunity to me. Perhaps there is value to COVID-19 afterall.

Mike Dorman

May 20 2020

The Freedoms and Flexibility of Working From Home … While Being Watched

Now, some two months later, those fortunate to be working and earning are often doing it from their home. On one hand this doesn’t make the COVID-19 situation any easier for sure however, in conversations with them, I am getting the sense that a good many are starting to realize the advantages their ‘home office’ has provided as they settle in to what may continue for a while. At the same time and while starting to enjoy the related freedoms, it is also important for all to realize that the ‘bosses’ are also finding ways to oversee the work being done … or not being done and thus doing their jobs.

It is no doubt that with each passing week we are settling into what working from home

home work space2

requires … not so much of the job as that has always been an expectation. Rather, what working successfully from home means and what it takes to be successful. Here are some of the advantages that those who have established a ‘home office’ are realizing and actually enjoying:

No commuting necessary – regardless of how much time you spentgetting to work it often entailed traffic, the related congestion and time – the related frustration that one really never gets used to
A Customized work environment – getting to set up your ‘office’ just as you like it and being able to avoid the surrounding noises that come from other’s conversations that do nothing to help you accomplish your tasks. Finding a closed room from which you can make an important telephone call is no longer a necessity
A relaxed dress code – although still needing to be presentable when participatingin a zoom equivalent call at least from the waist up, being able to dress more casually is often welcome. This is to say nothing about the cleaning bill savings
Added flexibility to one’s work schedule – To those used to needing to be in the office from 9 to 6, they now often have greater flexibility. Want to begin at 7:00 so you can attend a child’s baseball game at 4:30? Sure … as long as you know you have completed the work that needed to be done that day
Saving money – Gas prices are definitely down and it’s likely that won’t last. Buyinglunch costs add up significantly especially when done 20 days per month. Suddenly you realize that you have ‘extra’ money to spend in other areas and what could be bad about that?
A better way of creating true work-life balance – If it’s because of having no commute time or because you can alter your work hours to allow you to participate in other things going on at home, you now have the greater likelihood of being able to do these things in a more planned manner.

Along with enjoying the advantages, what is important that we all realize is that many bosses are simply not comfortable with having their team members out of sight. This is new for them as well. The worry is that the work she or he counts on them to accomplish won’t get done as or when needed. What this has wrought is a desire and thus a need to devise methods of keeping tabs on the home-based workers for that boss is going to be judged by how well their group is doing under her/his direction.

Here are some steps that are being taken by some organizations that provide leadership with the ability to monitor home-based employees. Some have always been used even within the office however to the ones working from home and with COVID-19, it just feels different.

Various forms of ‘spy’ software – and completely legal provided you let people know it is being used. Wanting to know how those being monitored are using their time? Here is the answer. The ability to track time use with varying frequency is readily available … and being used. The ability to determine if company confidential documents have been printed or sent to an unauthorized person is also used.
Checking to determine if you are really paying attention – while screen sharingon the likes of a zoom call it is possible for others to determine that one is engaged or if and when one has left the meeting for any period of time.
The ability to see messages sent to other employees – Sending a message or email to another employee is not confidential when the boss has the software that is attached to all company computers. Thus, any communication needs to be something that you are willing to have anyone else see.
An overall desire to know that the company is getting the full value from you – this is being accomplished in other and simpler ways than overseeing software. Perhaps the boss wants a video chat with you every day to review your accomplished and intended work. Or perhaps it’s calling a video meeting with ‘the team’ to allow all to update on what they have accomplished on a given day along with their planned tasks for tomorrow. Although the frequency of such meeting is not the old norm when in the true office, it is a way to help the organization and us as individuals stay on course. Of course this is our job especially if we want to keep the one we have.

Here’s the important point. When we go into the office we expect and know that we are being observed at any given time. We know and expect that our productivity is being watched and measured. When in the office we spend our days in a business frame of mind doing what it takes to justify and earn our paycheck. In today’s environment, nothing has

changed in terms of what is expected of us in terms of what we accomplish. The only change is the location of our ‘office’ or work space. Therefore, to the extent we can and do create both the area of our home office … a place that we walk into and out of just as we are used to doing under the ‘old normal’ … and the related mindset, the greater the likelihood that we and others around us will recognize that we are ‘at work’ and all of the expectations that come with that.

I personally fully expect that when today’s crisis has passed or at least diminished because a preventative treatment has been devised for this virus, the past ways of doing our jobs will not return as they were. There will be a new normal and that will include many more people in the work force doing their jobs in a remote fashion. Thus today, we can fight

embrace change sign what is presently going on or we can embrace it. Just seems to me that those of us who get our arms around this are going to be ahead of the curve going forward and that can only translate into a real advantage in terms of one’s perceived, personal value. That we can demonstrate that we can be trusted to do what is expected of us for which we earn the money we need and want seems like a good goal. Has today’s reality caused new challenge and frustration? Of course it has. Our choice becomes one of fighting it or adapting. Adapting seems like the ultimate smart choice to make.

Mike Dorman

May 05 2020

What If – Part 2 – Adapting to the Reality of a COVID-19 Life

In my last blog I addressed the challenge we are all having related to existing in and accepting the realities of being in a COVID-19 world. Entitled “What if COVID-19 Lasts A Long Time? And How to Plan for It” I encouraged readers to, at least, create a personal and collective Plan B … something that we keep on our shelves in the event that this month … or next … we were still living in our current, tense, worrisome and generally uncomfortable world. If you haven’t read it yet I suggest you do in order to lay the groundwork for what is to follow below.

Dreaming of Possibilities As the Key to Having Control

dream sign

In taking ourselves into ‘dreamland’ we get to envision what’s possible going forward. The questions haunting many include what’s possible if …

- I have a job however have to work from home where I am surrounded by family members whose routines have also been turned upside down?
- I have lost my job because my company couldn’t survive without incoming business?
- My home environment is completely unstructured and chaotic … how can I create the structure I need to be productive and successful in the job I’m lucky enough to still have?
- My children are not going back to school for the rest of this current school year and even going to classes next year is in question?
- I am simply very much alone with limited social interaction and both bored and frightened with this reality?

In having had the opportunity to work with people over the past few weeks I am glad to report that forcing oneself to actually dream yields some exciting results. I’m not suggesting this trek is an easy

color palate

one simply because we are having to deal more and more with the reality of what’s happening to and with us each day. And yet, it has and does result in some rewarding exploration that leads to our ability to move from being victim to designer of our own destiny. Wagging the tail definitely feels good.

Courses of Action

The following are suggestions and related resources that become valuable when we set out to implement the possibilities that dreamland has provided to us. All will not apply to everyone however the underlaying message is that there are paths available to all of us that can help us embrace the realities that ‘what if’ has put on our plates. They are offered presuming that you have taken steps to bring a more structured environment and routine into your residence as was suggested in the previous blog.

Take an on-line course that can prepare you to make a legitimate application for a job that is available … or one to simply help your mind stay active and alert.
- With your current job threatened or already non-existent coupled with the practical need and desire to earn money, exploring learning that is available on-line can enable you to make application to organizations currently in need of added help or soon to be once current restrictions are eased. Be it learning to be a bartender, a fitness instructor, proficient in java-script or computer science not only might this enable you to find work in a different field … it might also strengthen your potential value to an organization where you land after this pandemic is under control.
- If you are among the more fortunate who is not financially pressured at least today, doing on-line learning provides diversion and interest to days now being spent enthroned in your residence.
Create what you will need to be an effective and impressive applicant for a job means doing the advance preparation and thinking that will enable you to make the desired impact on a potential job source.
- Think short-term and think creatively. All companies are well-aware of the situation today and are less inclined to make their decision based on one being ‘over-qualified’ for a job. Rather having you with all of your qualifications allows them to take advantage of your advanced skills for the months that you are with them.
- Search out telecommuting job opportunities where your physical location and need to work in the company office or store is not a factor of being qualified.
- Enhance your resume in a way that emphasizes the skills a job requires rather than the specific job you have held. These skills have greater application than the specific job of the past and skills are what those organizations needing more help today want to find. Highlight any remote work you have done previously
- Prepare to interview virtually means that you have your ‘meeting’ dressed as you would dressfor an in-person meeting and in an environment that appears to be business-like. You will be judged on your presentation in this manner as well as your specific skills.
- Be patient while on the hunt as you are dealing with HR representatives who themselves are experiencing overwhelm. They are likely to be dealing with both current employees who are stressed as well as a potential onslaught of job applicants. Your understanding can go a long way to create a positive impression

Find a company that is hiring … now … today that can and will provide you with the incomeyou need to weather the current storm. It may not be the job of one’s dream however the ability to find a full-time or part-time position that fits into all else you need to juggle and, thus, ease some of the pressure and worry that has become a part of your days is the goal.
- A good number of national chains stores are actively looking for help due to the surge of business they are experiencing. Be it the likes of a Lowes, market chains like Aldi and Ralphs, The Dollar Store, Amazon, Trader Joes, Zoom and Walmart, there are companies actively searching for employees to help them through this current business crunch. And who knows but that your job skill sand performance won’t lead to a permanent position and opportunities that you never envisioned previously.

plan B

I don’t know about you however, I know whenever I am challenged and/or troubled about some situation in which I find myself, my ability to remain focused and relatively calm depends on taking the steps needed to create my personal plan on the shelf … my plan B. With each passing week we can vacillate from believing/hoping that what we are living with today is soon to end or will define the ways in which we have to live and thrive for a considerable time. And whereas we have no definitive answer we do have a choice. We can risk wasting our time and prepare for what might be or we can live day to day and risk the consequences of having no plan thus rolling the dice in case ‘what if’ becomes the reality. We each get the pick the path right for us.

Mike Dorman

Resources for information included in this blog:

On Line Classes: https://www.huffpost.com/entry/online-classes-you-can-take-at-home_l_5e7a7a29c5b6e051e8dce9f7

Potential Current Job Opportunities: https://www.wsoctv.com/news/local/whos-hiring-during-pandemic-heres-list-job-opportunities/P5BUIJVBQZHKBPPKTYZLCHR4XM/

Finding a Job During COVID-19: https://www.fastcompany.com/90482657/how-you-can-find-a-job-during-the-covid-19-crisis

Websites to Find Work During This Time – https://www.forbes.com/sites/advisor/2020/03/31/websites-to-find-work-from-home-jobs-hiring-during-the-covid-19-crisis/#f3928223c43d

Apr 22 2020

What if COVID-19 Lasts A Long Time? How We Can Plan for It

Most often the blogs I write contend with situations within a business environment. Still, even when coaching a client dealing with business related issues and challenges I am readily aware of the fact that whatever the issues, they are a part of the whole person and it is often things outside of a job or business that are impacting the individual that need to be addressed.

The Situation we are living with today

There is no better example I can think of than COVID-19 that has impacted us all in ways that know no boundaries. The work we do … or did, the ways in which we

live day to day and the relationships we have are all going through major upheaval. And although we truly hope that this is only a temporary situation, I do believe that thinking about and creating our individual and collective plan as to what we would and can do if temporary is actually long-term makes good sense. Addressing ‘What if’ allows each of us to have our Plan B … on the shelf … and that alone moves us back to one wagging the tail rather than feeling helpless and victimized.

Regardless of whether you personally believe that Coronavirus is real, manufactured, created by one group or another or receiving an overblown response, the fact remains that we are all having to deal with the reality of it. As such we are living in a state of doing with a day to day or hour to hour focus. How do I get my work done if I cannot go into the office? How to I keep my children occupied in a productive way? How can I provide for my family if I have been furloughed or laid off? What else can I do to generate income needed to live? How do I not go crazy being alone without the ability to see or be with others? These are all real reactions and concerns and yet … remaining here only heightens our concerns and worries.

There is another place that we can go that will put us in a place of taking back control of what is and what is to come. I’ll call it ‘dreamland’. It’s the place of what’s possible … someplace wherein we get to brainstorm all of the things that we could possibly do that might lead to our ability to turn our current state of questions and panic into our ability to design the path we WANT to take. Such a path puts us back in charge of doing what we believe and know is necessary and is best for us in our situation.

In this two-part blog, I want to address things that we all can to do take us to the place wherein we can be creative and devise solutions will apply and work for each of us in our varying situations (dreamland). Once able to effectively ‘dream’ and envision options available to us, we can effectively examine how we might pursue those that make real sense to us. In other words, put us back into the driver’s seat in order to take us to a place that can work … despite being in a COVID-19 world.

Creating the path to dreamland

Undertaking some activity that we find relaxing … even for minutes in the day
As a first step to taking charge of your situation one needs to identify an activity in which they find comfort and yes, escape from the stress that has been created. This might be meditation, going for a run, digging in the garden or doing a physical workout. Recognizing such a thing as a need rather than a luxury we don’t have time for allows us to create the break from all else going on in our current and tumultuous existence. It allows us to become centered and keep our feet on the ground and is especially important!
Setting boundaries within the walls of our residence Suddenly many of us find ourselves living 24/7 with others who are not normally around as such. Granted this can be crazy-making and extremely stressful. Yet, recognizing ones’ need to have personal space … time alone … can and should lead to our ability to express our individual needs along with all others doing the same and having them respected.
Identifying opportunities that having a family under the roof full-time represent
Perhaps school-age children can continue their learning via on-line applications or perhaps they are being home-schooled in their regular subjects. Yet, being at home opens the door to you as a parent to be able to expose them to learning that is not covered in the classroom. Maybe it is cooking, cleaning, gardening, on-line courses that help them learn something of interest to them and something that might be of value going forward.

Bring structure to the current situation rather than simply wishing it to end
In an overall sense, we are all used to living our days with a certain structure. If we have jobs, we are expected to be in the office between certain hours of the day. If children are in school, they are involved as such between certain hours. If they are involved in after-school programs it encompasses more time each day. Daily we tend to eat and go to bed at specific times. Such structure is ‘normal’ and we all function with it. Therefore, creating a similar structure becomes a way to create new norms for all.

As a means of operating from within the ‘what if’ arena and being able to move from victim of the past and current to designer of how we want to move forward, transporting ourselves to the ‘dream’ room is key. There we are allowed to envision the possibilities in front of us and is key to taking charge of how we travel through and transcend this world so impacted by COVID-19. We get to be creative recognizing that we are living in a world different than yesterday. As such, we will then see what we need in terms related to ourselves, family, friends, and work.

The next blog will address possibilities available to all of us that allow us to chart the course that works best for us in serving the very real needs we have. In the meantime, following the suggestions that will create your dreamland. View this as your experimental lab. It’s a place to explore and try knowing that some things will work and some won’t. What it will provide is a place that allows us to move forward and that seems particularly important today.

Mike Dorman

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