Blog - Page 45 of 55 - The Third Zone

Aug 06 2014

Better Economy? Whew! The Pressure is Off … I Can Relax Now … But Should I?

FinallyI Can Relax! — Finally I Can Relax!

As coaches, saying that a client is right or wrong is not part of the territory. Our role is not to be judges of what someone wants or decides to do. Rather it is helping them move from wherever they are to where they want to be … in their job, in relationships or in their life. Admittedly and under certain circumstances, withholding personal judgment is not always easy and requires a good amount of self-management.

Just recently … and not once but twice … the ability to self-manage was put to a test. Clients expressed themselves in ways similar to the title of this blog. I mean they actually felt relief as they expressed the following thinking:

“I’m very happy that the economy has become so much healthier. No longer do I have the pressure of needing to perform above and beyond in order to avoid being among the unemployed”. REALLY?

Or …

“The past few years have been very stressful for me … always concerned that if I failed to do an outstanding job I stood to lose my job to someone else who was available and there were many. This has been anything but pleasant and now I feel I can relax without working so hard”. SERIOUSLY?

And finally …

“I sure expect to receive a big raise by the end of this year. I have had to work very hard during the downturn because of a lot of layoffs and I deserve it!” Okay … at least this client knows what he/she expects.

These clients actually expressed this. However it would not be a surprise to know that many people have similar thoughts. The key question here is just how this view will serve someone going forward? Are there other perspectives that might alter one’s expectations and actually end up serving them better? How about …

Why is it fortunate that you were selected to remain employed while so many others around you joined the unemployed? How did that serve you well personally?
What might have been the impact on both your career and your personal life had you been among those laid off and truly challenged to find employment elsewhere?
If your goal was to demonstrate your appreciation to ‘the boss’ for having retained you what could you do now in this improving economic environment?
What would you stand to gain in terms of career and personal achievement if you applied yourself with the same drive, effort and energy going forward?

It’s always interesting when we allow ourselves to think about a situation from various perspectives before we act on our initial thinking. Sometimes we can actually devise a plan to move-forward that is better in the long-term. Perhaps maintaining the pressure on ourselves to perform to the max will have rewards that we actually want. No guarantee yet is it worth considering? Just maybe?

Mike Dorman

Jul 21 2014

When Job Flexibility Equates to Running Away

It wasn’t that many years ago that wherein one entered one field of work and maybe worked at only one company that defined how they would spend their entire career … from start to finish. Today, those entering the work force are encouraged to be flexible and go with the opportunity to use one’s skills within different organizations … or fields … as a way to move upward in terms of knowledge, achievement and compensation. Technology is a major driving force of this switch in terms of the development of the next best or effective way to do most everything. The conveyor belt of innovation and change is happening at lightning speed … certainly when compared to ‘the old days’.

We’ve probably all heard said that jobs that will be available in i.e. 5 years can’t be defined today simply because these jobs will pertain to things that have yet to be developed or in some cases … even thought of. Does this sound ideal … or just scary? It seems to me that this depends on how we allow ourselves to embrace this ‘moving target’ and incorporate it into our own game plan … or not. Today’s work environment offers opportunities to us because of knowledge and skills that we have and are needed presently. It’s the reason that we’re hired on one hand. At the same time and because of the fast evolution of change, tomorrow’s opportunities require that we be willing to continue our own learning or before long, we will find ourselves having expertise in classic or antique methods and tools. And whereas ‘classic’ adds value to a car and antiques are valuable collectibles to many, the value of yesterday’s tools and methods quickly diminish in today’s business world.

So where do you stand? What are your true answers to the following questions as a starting point to determine if you operating to take advantage of the ideal or the scary:

What are you doing in your current job to make certain you’re aware of new advances being explored and developed in your field of knowledge?
How often do you seek out others around you who are researching the next great wave in order to understand where things are headed and what you need to learn?
What holds you back from admitting what you don’t know among your peers and asking for help in new learning?
How will presenting yourself as the ‘student’ demonstrate strength to peers and bosses?
To you personally, what advantage does showing your personal lack of knowledge potentially offer you in terms of opportunity and growth?

The very real challenge we witness in people within organizations of all types and focuses is those being willing to become the student of tomorrow’s innovations. Unfortunately some see pursuing new learning as risking being perceived as ‘less than’ or being judged as other than smart or sharp. Thus, rather than being vulnerable in this way, they are inclined to leave for another job where they can be hired for what they know and do today. It becomes an unending cycle. This is not the kind of flexibility that enables us to thrive in today’s whirlwind environment of development and change. I believe it is not what is meant by being flexible and staying up with the development taking place at lightning speed. This is more akin to running away. Running is reportedly and ultimately hard on the knees. Stop running. It’s healthy for your future!

Mike Dorman

Jul 07 2014

Applying the Beatle’s Magic to Ourselves and Our Work

My guess is that anyone reading this is familiar with John and Paul … of Beatle fame? Right … that John and Paul. And this year marks the 50^thone since they delivered their music and their magic to the US in person. You might also be aware that it was John and Paul who were the ones responsible for some of the most memorable Beatle classics. The famous partnership of John Lennon and Paul McCartney demonstrates the brilliance of creative pairs and is well documented in an article entitled ‘The Power of Two’.

The long-standing myth of the lone genius tends to distort the way creative work really gets done. John and Paul were so creative as a pair even if at times they appeared to work in opposition to each other. As the above article states, their collaborative partnership demonstrates two key benefits. First, that distance doesn’t impede intimacy, and is often a crucial ingredient; second, that competition and collaboration are often entwined. Our wanting to credit the individual for accomplishments tends to obscure the power of the creative pair. John and Paul epitomized this power. The magic came from interaction.

So this is interesting about the Beatles, right? Yet, what does this have to do you or me? The place that most of us make our music is often related to our careers and the jobs that we hold. The norm is that we are hired for a position because of knowledge and experience that we bring. We keep our nose to the grind stone and deliver. Often, our hope and intention is that doing a good job will be rewarded with remuneration, bonus and even advancement. What might happen to escalate our success if we were to collaborate with another within our organization? Think about it in these terms:

What are the skills that I know I bring to the organization and excel at performing?
What are skills that I can readily admit are not my strength yet would be an asset to me if I had them or access to them?
How would collaboration with the right person challenge me to up my own game?
What could success for me look like if I were to find a creative, collaborative partner?
How would the right partner impact my thinking and the depth and breadth of the work we could create together?
What could be the impact on my career in terms of moving up the ladder?

Doesn’t it behoove all of us to give some thought to the ‘Power of Two’ if we were one of them? What is the music we could make through collaborative creativity that would carry on through the ages? I have a feeling that the opportunities are there for the taking if only we can will ourselves out of our box to explore what’s possible. The way it has been is “Yesterday”. Going forward it’s the belief of “We Can Work It Out”. You think?

Mike Dorman

Jun 11 2014

Getting Out of Our Own Way

Quite often I receive an email from someone believing that there is an article or a video that I must read or watch. Last week was no exception and this particular video really hit home. The very long title was … “She Didn’t Think She Was Good Enough To Audition, But Then She Blew EVERYONE Away!! What captured my immediate attention was ‘she didn’t think she was good enough’. It immediately reminded me of so many I have met within organizations who were knowledgeable, skilled … and doubtful. Okay … it reminded me of me at times in my life. There I said it. And the culprit? Something called self-doubt. Have you ever met it? Do you know it a little or even well?

Self-doubt can hardly be considered a friend. In fact it acts to keep us just where we are in so many ways. In a business environment it works like this:

In a business environment it works like this:

We want to advance in our current company and yet, are really afraid or just hesitant to let our wishes be known.
We want to further our education so that new opportunities will open for us … and the thought of being a student again is just scary.
We are offered a promotion and while excited about that, spend hours convincing ourselves that we won’t be able to do the job.

So what’s going on here? Why would we allow one LOUD internal voice to dictate our achievements, our successes, our fulfillments and in the overall, our happiness? The truth is we don’t have to settle for this. We don’t have to allow it to be our voice. If we can admit that self-doubt is a controlling voice among our internal cast of characters, here are some things we can do about it.

Recognize ‘self-doubt’ for what it is … self-doubt . . . and don’t give it any more power.
Recognize that it has been given a controlling role on our stage.
Recognize the skills and interests that we do have … ones that make us eligible to tackle greater responsibility and the related achievements that come with it.
Recognize the benefit of pushing ourselves through the nervousness and uncertainty could lead us to precisely what we are wanting to have.

To the extent that you see yourself in this and you want to circumvent the negative, there are a couple of tools that will help you do this. Find someone with whom you are comfortable and make them your ally. Allow them to mentor you … to reinforce the notion that you can pursue and succeed at whatever you are shying away from. Let them help you to identify and disempower the voice of self-doubt … as often as needed. And/or, hire a coach to help you move around and beyond what is holding you back.

When we can get out of our own way we stand to ‘blow ‘em away … because we can. We all have a ‘world’ out there that is wanting to get as much as they can from us in a positive way. Inhabit THAT world and watch out for the results!!!

Mike Dorman

May 29 2014

Draining the Credit Bank … BEWARE!

The response to the last blog post entitled “It’s All About the View” was varied and interesting. The message dealt with the value of stepping out on the ‘balcony’ in order to remove ourselves from a myopic view of any situation and enable us to see our situation from a higher and broader plane. Whereas many saw and appreciated the reminder to do this, some expressed feeling so overwhelmed by the sum total of their circumstances that they questioned their ability to even find that balcony.

Okay. I get it and this reminded me of some learning that I experienced many years ago that has served me very well. In sharing it with you as a reader I expect it will make sense to you as well. Just bear with me here. I really haven’t lost it.

Envision that within our bodies we have the likes of a bank savings account. This account is special for it holds only stress related credits. And when our lives are going along with relative ease and with manageable activities, we continue to build up credits on this account. That is … until … WHAM!

The wham can be any number of things including the likes of …

Interviewing for a new position
Moving to a new residence
Having turmoil with another person on your work team or within your department
Awaiting your work review with positive anticipation
Challenges at home in terms of relationships
Dealing with the illness of someone close to you

Of course there could be many more yet what is important to realize is when any one of these things take place, we withdraw credits we have amassed from our special ‘stress’ account. That, by itself, is just fine as this is how it’s supposed to work. So what’s the problem?

It’s only a problem when we find ourselves dealing with too many stress-related issues at the same time. When this occurs it leads us to make decisions and take actions that are not always in our best interest. When this occurs, we have a good chance to create bigger problems and thus, create a vicious cycle of stress-related actions. When we are over-taxed in this manner our distorted logic can lead us to handle the types of things mentioned above in ways that bring negative results and even compound the situations. Look at them again. I’m sure you can quickly derive what the ‘wrong way’ to respond to these situation would be.

The solution is rather simple. Recognize that you have too many things going on that are sapping your account of stress credits. Recognize that depleting this account will lead you to take actions that, in the end, might not serve you well at all. Recognize that you can find a way to minimize the credit withdrawals taking place at the same time. Often times it’s just a matter of us deciding to prioritize our ‘list’. Other times we can ask to postpone something to a later date. Regardless of how we do it, what we’ll succeed in doing is enabling ourselves to make it out to our balcony, gain that perspective that often makes things look different, better and manageable and in the overall … avoid the WHAM! Try it … my guess is that you’ll like it!

Mike Dorman

Contact

Subscribe to our newsletter