Mike, Author at The Third Zone

Dec 01 2015

What We Want to Give Thanks for … NEXT Thanksgiving!

Just one week ago most of us did what we normally do on Thanksgiving … ate, ate and ate some more. Chances are that we all feasted on all things ‘Thanksgiving’ and our plates ‘runneth’ over. Isn’t that part of the tradition?. I’ve found that many people, as a part of their traditions, ask those at the table to recite the things for which they are particularly thankful. The range of ‘things’ is endless … from good health … or loving family and friends … or successes they may have experienced.

So this made me curious. I wondered what I would like to be able to give thanks for at next year’s dinner? I mean really … why not spend a bit of time looking forward and identifying what are we aiming to have, earn and accomplish just 1 year from now … Thanksgiving – 2016? Then, with each item on that wish list we have the ability to create the plan as to how and what we can and need to do to make our wish list a certainty.

This can be exciting. Consider these examples and related plan that will enable you to achieve your goals:

Our Jobs
- What we might want:
  What do we want to be doing in a year? Is it a new position with more responsibility? A different department wherein we get to be in an area of greater personal interest? Mastering other skills that will enhance our value to our company and the potential of greater earnings?
- The action plan:
  What are the skills that you lack in order to advance in your field or move to that other department? What are the ways you can learn them? A Course? Some reading? Finding a mentor who can guide your learning and your progress? Who are the best people to discuss your desire and plan with within the organization so that the effort you make is a solid one?

Our Relationships
- What we might want:
  With whom do we want to become closer … as with a friend, a work associate or a family member? And why is this important? What will it add to our life in general or our feeling accomplished, the desired warmth and connection?
- The action plan:
  What are the specific relationships that you want to better or establish? What has or is in the way of your having been able to do this sooner? What can or do you need to do in order to get around the barrier … a conversation? … A letter? Help from an intermediary?

Ourselves
- What we might want:
  What have we long wanted to master as new skills and just never have gotten around to it? What hobby have we often wished we had the time to pursue to say nothing of learning the related capability? What pursuit has always interested us and yet we have always found the reason that we couldn’t, shouldn’t or can’t? It is a sport, being an artist or traveling? What is getting in the way of moving forward on anything that is just for YOU and your sense of fulfillment? Why? What do you fear that keeps you from making the leap?
- The action plan
  There’s something to be said for the Nike slogan … “just do it!” What specifically do you need to learn in order to pursue something that’s all about you? Can you learn this through research? Or is there someone with whom you can connect who can get you started and be your champion through your process? What’s that? You say you don’t have time? Come on … just make time because you can. Envision what it looks like from the other side … the accomplished side!

Thanksgiving ’16 seems like a long year away. It may be long and yet, we know it will be fast. Just imagine … sitting around your table and giving thanks for all that you accomplished because you dared to dream it and plan for it. Congratulations! It’s a great feeling isn’t it?

Mike Dorman

Nov 12 2015

Just Stuck!

This week is ‘blog week’ for The Third Zone and as I set out to write it I was informed that necessary maintenance was being done on our site and until it was completed I might be stuck in a holding pattern. Stuck?? For sure and there was nothing I could do about it … except to wait.

While waiting I couldn’t help but to think of other times that I have found myself stuck … a kind of stuck that has gotten in the way of getting something done that I want to do, I need to do or should do. And when I’m in this place and although I really know what has to happen, there are times when I have tended to come up with many reasons that actually avoid my having to confront the mindset of ‘stuck’ head on and move forward.

During many years of coaching, I have and continue to encounter others trapped in this field of ‘stuck’ and the impact that has on feeling and being successful in what we do. The result is that it puts us in a deep and narrow rut. No fun … not productive and in general … a downer.

The first challenge and step to getting us to a better and more satisfying place is to recognize the reality of our situation … that we are stuck and that we don’t like being there. It’s about the power of our willingness to be vulnerable and the power of owning “stuck” … of looking at it square in the face and embracing it as an ally and friend.

What happens when you give ‘stuck’ a voice? What is it saying to you? What does it need or want from you? Maybe it just needs to be honored or paid attention to. Maybe it is saying something about radical self-care. Or maybe something about coming back to the place where you are grounded – whatever that is for you. Your faith, your relationships, your work or your relaxation place – it doesn’t matter. What we seem to know about “stuck” however, is that if it is ignored or fought, it will only get worse.

Here are some of the common types of ‘stuck’ that we often encounter and experience along with some things to question and work to get around or beyond that most uncomfortable place:

Stuck in a mindset – often causing a sense of frustration that is anything but enjoyable
Stuck in a position – contributing to your feeling of making no progress in where you foresee your career going and feeling trapped
Stuck in general – the feeling of being generally lost in terms of where you are headed and why in any aspect of your life

Recognizing and accepting ‘stuck’ as a good sign of something that we can make better is for us to realize that it is an ally to helping us stay the course we choose. Saying “NO” to stuck is the beginning and in relatively short order we make adjustments that return us to a positive and productive path. And oh yes … the site maintenance is finished! STUCK NO MORE!

Mike Dorman

Oct 22 2015

The Third Zone Moved into 21st Century? Join Us? There’s Room.

Notice something different? I hope so. The Third Zone has … and one might even say ‘finally’ … brought ourselves into the world of today. If you’re reading this with ease on whatever your device of choice, then you are experiencing our change! In coaching we refer to what we’ve done as ‘meeting our readers where they are. Yahoo! And the bridge? Read on.

The impact of bringing our website into this era has had other benefits. With it has come renewed enthusiasm and excitement for all the third zones we can create going forward … or helping others bridge the gap between their dream of achievement and the reality of their performance In general, we’re fired up and re-energized. It makes me wonder where might any of us be able to update, elevate or in some way, boost ourselves into more of today’s world of opportunities?

So get curious! Wonder …

What can you tackle to learn that you have been putting off just because learning the new trick will be challenging … at first?
What key relationships can you improve that … in doing so … will make your personal or work life so much easier and more meaningful?
What will riding your bike to work or taking a ride at noon do for your energy and that will, in turn, bring positive results?
What’s possible for you to advance in your job … to make more money … to receive more recognition and the related rewards … and what can you to do make any of these things happen?

There is always something right out of reach for us because it is too much work, or we don’t want to take the time, or … or … or. At least this is what we often think. And yet when we begin by taking just one action step we are on the road to starting something new, learning something new and maybe changing a perspective or two in the process.

As you see, we just brought our website into the 21^st century. In doing so we expanded our potential audience, we stand to regain enthusiastic followers of the past and we are clearly closer to the moon. Why not take the leap for yourself, your team, department or company? Clearly, we already know the moon isn’t out of reach anymore. It just takes one forward action step to begin, and then the in-flight process unfolds. Welcome aboard!

Sep 16 2015

A Team in Game or A Team in Name?

Growing up, perhaps one of the initial opportunities one has to gain a sense of ‘team’ is often through the sports that we play. Whether one is participating in the likes of football, water polo, basketball, doubles tennis or volleyball … these are team sports wherein the success … or failure … is very dependent on how well the ‘team’ did or didn’t play together. Whereas each player had individual abilities that enable them to be selected for the team, so much of the practice and training is devoted to how they apply their respective skills to the coordinated team effort.

Our focus at The Third Zone is primarily within organizations. And whereas we often hear talk of “the great team we have” or “how strong our team is”, what we too often come to realize is that, in fact, organizations have often assembled strong and talented people to make up their teams. As good as that is, what we also witness is that they do little to develop that team to function as a well-coordinated and oiled machine. And as such, they are potentially running on fewer cylinders than are available to them.

There are two approaches that organizations generally follow in working with their teams:

Approach # 1 – a team in name

Hire the best … in terms of knowledge, experience and skill
Define their responsibilities and expectations of performance success
Have them participate in appropriate team meetings to represent and provide input from their perspective
Hope, as the head of the company or the department, that everyone achieves their jobs successfully so that the company hits the intended mark

This approach creates a silo mentality. Yes, the organization has a team and yes, each person is primarily concerned about how well he/she does in their job. However, they leave the overall concern about company, department or project success to the person at the top.

Approach # 2 – a team in game

Hire the best … in terms of knowledge, experience and skill
Define their responsibilities and expectations of performance success

(And now the differences)

Make certain that ALL on the team understand and are completely aligned with the
overriding vision/goal of the organization
Have each team member bring down that vision to their respective area of focus … making
certain that what they are doing is clearly on the path leading to achieving the company
vision
Have team meetings that are focused on a cooperative effort of all helping all succeed in their respective goals – if one loses the team loses
An constant awareness that reaching the height requires FULL TEAM success

This approach is akin to the sports world’s approach to building a winning effort. All have a constant awareness of their being just one cog on a wheel. And they know that in order to drive successfully, they must be fully aligned with all of all others if they are to create a smooth and successful ride. This is a team in ‘game’ and that’s what achieving the greatest win requires.

As you look at your own organization, department or project, what kind of a team are you playing on? Maybe it’s worth exploring.

Your comments are ALWAYS welcome!

Mike Dorman

Aug 26 2015

Making Communication Truly Effective … In Just ONE Simple Step

Communicating today seems so much easier than it used to be. Think about it. We still have snail mail, fax, and telephone. And … we have skype, scans, snapchat, texting, voicemail, video conferencing and more. These are all tools that enable us to convey information or thoughts to others. This is communicating – in the sense of transferring information from one place to another. However, time and again we are reminded that this does not automatically translate to effective communication.

In working within organizations, it is often that just communicating vs. effectively communicating becomes the culprit contributing to the gap between the dream of achievement and the reality of performance.

After giving directions or explanations of some important issue, the frequently asked question from one person to another is … “do you have any questions?”. Even if not asked directly, it is anticipated that we will ask if we don’t understand. How many times do we hear or even say the likes of … “No. I understand”. But do we? As the listener, how do we know that what we understand is what the speaker wants us to understand? And as the communicator, how do we know that we have successfully conveyed what is so clear in our head? The fact is that we just don’t!

Some of us take pride in our belief that we are truly good listeners. And for the sake of argument, let’s put everyone in this category. Yet even being a good listener, the problems arise when we set off to do something based on the communication received without determining that what we understood is aligned with what the communicator intended. The downside of this is the task is done incorrectly thus creating expensive re-work and waste to the organization. This is in addition to the unnecessary frustration for all. Unfortunately this comes to the forefront as an issue in a large portion of my engagements as a coach.

What is the cure? How do we turn communication into effective communication? Actually it’s quite straight-forward and simple. All it requires is that the one doing the communicating accepts that it is their responsibility to convey the concept, instructions, or ideas and confirm that they are understood as intended. This can happen in one of two ways:

The speaker/communicator asks their listener(s) to repeat back what they have understood
The listener repeats what they understood to have been conveyed by the speaker/communicator.

It makes no difference who asks … it’s the asking that creates the magic. Effective communication is NOT about talking. It’s what we take away from what we’ve heard that makes all the difference. Why not try it in your organization at the next opportunity … today … tomorrow. I expect it will make a positive difference. A simple approach for simply positive results!

Mike Dorman

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