Mike, Author at The Third Zone

Dec 18 2019

Forget the Resolutions! Just Make and Execute the No Fail Plan!

I don’t know about you however, I can and will admit that I have never been one very enthusiastic about making real New Year’s resolutions. For sure I tried a couple of times. I put considerable effort into identifying things I was going to do come January 1^st. Whether it was eat better … or stick to a strict regimen of workouts … or grow my business. These commitments lasted from hours to days to weeks. What I failed to do was to create MY concrete plan for what would be required of me to achieve these goals. Here we are into the last month of 2019 and it does make sense that we all be thinking of what we’d like to accomplish over the next 12 months in all the various compartments of our lives.

year 2020 sign

As a business/executive coach, the role I play in working with a client is in helping them go from where they are to where they want to be as they move forward and upward. In order to do this, there are two key components of the thinking and planning that are critical.

The first one is the need to create and actual move-forward plan that provides some insurance that we can and will get to where we desire to be. Our plan becomes the measuring stick by which we can judge and measure our progress. These components, when addressed, help to put purpose to our efforts and help us avoid failure. They include the following:

What does achievement look like? What is your plan to get to where you desire and intend to be? There is value to looking i.e. 3 years into the future and then, with that in mind, work back to the end of 2021 and then 2020 … based on where you are today.
What are the ways you can acquire the necessary learning? … other than waiting for the ‘boss’ to come up with the idea for you. What courses, research or conversations should you be taking, doing or having that are at the foundation of your goals?
What are various things that can/will get in the way of moving forward? This is a no-nonsense introspection that identifies a tendency to i.e. procrastinate, fail to stay the course in general, lose sight of goals among other challenges. Your personal honesty is critical here.
What will getting around such challenges as obstacles require? … from you and/or fromothers? In what ways can you take immediate actionto rid your path of them? Identifying such challenges allows you to both recognize them when present and take an alternate route to regain traction within the ‘plan’.

The above suggestions tend create the plan that will take us to where we intend to be … at the end of 2020 and beyond. So you’re set and ready to go … right? Well almost however not a sure thing and this is where the second component is so important. The second one is to do a bit of self-analysis just to be certain that we are in the mindset to embrace the things we want to do and avoid sabotaging them. It helps us to build our plan on a foundation that is geared for the very changes and accomplishments we want. Amy Morin is a licensed clinical social worker and a contributor to Forbes. She has identified four keys to making our failed resolutions into plans that work. They are rather simple, straight forward and worth incorporating:

Identify Your Readiness to Change. Although we may feel motivated initially, we haven’t really thought about all the work the resolution entails. Thinking, “I guess I should get healthier next year,” without committing to eating healthy and exercising isn’t likely to bode well. Wanting a raise without what you will do to justify one i.e. by increasing your value to the company, is a wish without a plan or sense of personal responsibility. And your plan doesn’t need to take the action on January 1. Rather you can increase your motivation to achieve your goal while creating the plan and related timeline for doing so during the year.
Believe You Can Do It!
A lot of people try to create change, despite a nagging voice in their heads that says, “This will never work.” If your thoughts constantly drag you down and beat you up, your chances of successare greatly diminished. You’ll likely talk yourself outof moving forward as soon as the going gets rough. Creating long-lasting change requires confidence. Counter the self-doubt by writing down the evidence that informs you that you will be able to reach your goal. Keep the resulting list where you can review it often to ‘affirm your strengths and reduce your negative thinking.’
Think Constructively About Setbacks
Change in our behavior often involves at least a couple of setbacks. However, it’s the way we respond to them that determines the likelihood of reaching our goals.If we approach our goalallowing for the potential of a mistake that takes us off track, we view it as a temporary ‘inconvenience’ and enhance the potential that we will benefit from the error and move on. If we see the error as failure, we are motivated to say goodbye to the resolution.

Build Mental Strength
For many people, New Year’s resolutions focus on tangible changes. Although tangible – and measurable – goals are important, it’s impossible to reach those goals without mental strength. It’s the mental strength that will help us reach them. Increasing your mental strength will help you follow through with your goals, even as your motivation declines – which, for many people, is mid-January.

Here’s what I can assure you. If you take several minutes to focus on and address these two areas

of concern you will have taken a BIG step in creating the foundation of YOUR plan that can make next year one of positive movement … for you personally, for the department in which you work and/or for the team or company that you lead. You will also have moved from a too often meaningless New Year’s resolution to a personal resolve to achieve. You will have applied the glue that makes your desires actually stick. 2020? Watch out!

To all our readers, our wishes for 2020 being wonderful and successful in every way you choose!
Mike Dorman

Dec 04 2019

Potential Is One Thing. Taking Steps to Move Upward Is Another

stuck on mountain

Being or seeing ourselves as ‘stuck’ when it comes to our career and where we would like to go has no advantages. In fact, staying in such a place continues to create havoc and eventually, if accepted or tolerated, we succeed in digging ourselves into a large and deep hole. So much for the potential we think or are told we have. We often simply don’t see the steps we need to take to actually realize our own goals.

As we are at the end of 2019 and are looking ahead to next year it seems like an ideal time to take steps to re-assume the reins of our own growth. It’s time to resume control of any internal voices who, too often, work against forward and positive steps just because ‘they’ are satisfied when YOU are not. The big and logical question is how does one do this when they have lost a vision for what this could mean? How can

unlocking potential

one effectively resume the climb up the success ladder she/he wants?
Here are some very practical questions for one to consider and act upon that can have the precise result you seek. They are worth consideration and evaluation as they might apply to you

• Point #1: Achieving your career goals simply can’t be done alone. It does take and certainly happens with greater speed when we create and use ‘a village’. Surrounding ourselves with mentors, friends and co-workers is key.
Your consideration: Who have you placed on this support team and how are you using them to help you achieve your goals. Is the team complete or are you missing someone who can provide a missing or weak link?

• Point #2: Making the most of all of your talents leads to the question of how and whether you will do this … not whether or not you have anything to offer the world.
Your consideration: What are capabilities and skills that you feel you have and are not being utilized today? With this awareness what can you do to make them visible to others so they can come into play?

• Point #3: Accepting that we all have potential, we all aren’t good at doing what it takes to reach ours. For

sure, celebrate the things that go well for us i.e. a raise, advancement or a position. And yet of even greater importance is how we respond when we receive a ‘no’ as these are the times that define us.
Your consideration: Ask yourself ‘What am I capable of’ that others might not be aware of. Who needs to know of these skills that would enable them to consider to the advancement I seek?

• Point #4: When you are turned down or get a “no” as it pertains to getting something you want … just stay ready.
Your consideration: What skills do I lack that will enable me to be ‘ready’ when the next opportunities arises? Where can I go to learn what’s missing that will make me eligible for that next opportunity? Being ready and focused is a key element.

Point #5: Keep the ‘no’ you receive in perspective. Sure it’s painful to hear and yet you can consciously choose to not live in that place. Knowing what you are capable of, being prepared and maintaining a realistic perspective will help to turn the ‘no’ into ‘yes’.
Your consideration: Recall a previously heard ‘no’ that you can use as a positive force to be your motivator to maintain the focus and the faith.

To the extent that we can see … and own … our own potential allows us to create the steps we need to and can take that will enable us to achieve our personal vision and the pathway to get there. 2020 is only a few weeks away. Adhering to the points indicated above could well be the difference that makes next year one of your most gratifying and successful ones … ever!!
Mike Dorman
* Resource: graduation commencement speech given by Russel Wilson – May ‘ 2016

Nov 20 2019

Who’s Running YOUR Show? You or the Inside Voices You Carry Around?

Recently I began working with some distinctly different clients which is always exciting as each one brings unique

situations and challenges to the table. As well and of greatest importance is that all have a determination and desire to move around and beyond the obstacles that have them in some ‘stuck’ place. So together we embark on their path to greater achievement, fulfillment, satisfaction and happiness.

It doesn’t take long in the process for me to detect a ‘different’ voice emanating from my client. By different I mean this person is saying things that are counter to what my client has indicated she/he wanted to achieve or how they viewed their situation. Often the comments are so starkly different that I am moved to ask this person who else they just invited into our meeting? Here are examples:

Client:
I am determined to regain my energy and enthusiasm for my business which is why am investing in working with a coach
The Uninvited Voice: (as spoken through the client’s mouth)
Frankly I don’t really know why I am even trying. I haven’t had any real success for a very long time.

Client:
I want to advance in the company because I am capable and need to earn more money to support myself and my family
The Uninvited Voice:
As much as I want this I suppose I just need to face the fact that I’m not going to be recognized by management and must accept the limitation on my life

Client:
I watch others around me get promotions and move into new jobs that enable them to climb the success ladder. I guess I just don’t have the knowledge needed.
The Uninvited Voice:
You’re smart and can learn the missing skills. Just find out what you are needing to know and create the plan to acquire that which will carry you upward.

The inner voices referred to are a part of all of us. And although I know of no magic potion that enables us to rid

them from existence, they absolutely can be controlled for both their positive and negative offerings. If we’re not truly aware of these voices they have the ability to hijack our thoughts and attitudes. When they are speaking positive and encouraging perspectives they can truly be motivating and provide solutions.

On the other hand when these voices deliver perspectives that help us remain ‘stuck’ then they have that capability in us. These are the voices that often speak up in those with whom I am working. They are not encouraging. In fact they just don’t like change and although they might understand why we want to change our path, the thought of our doing something different is unsettling … even if it can be seen as better for us. The result often sends us into a genuine funk! Not good!

Each and every time I introduce one to their inner team it takes only moments for them to get it. Rather quickly they become sensitized to how their own thoughts and goals have been stolen or hijacked by voices within that have become the ruling force of how they move … if they move.

WAIT! There is good news in this. We absolutely have the ability to retake charge of what, when and where we want to go and do and a first step is recognizing that such control has been relinquished to what have been our own louder and more dominant voices. Here are some very practical and rather easy steps to allow us to regain control and confidently move forward on our chosen goal.

Identify the different voices residing within:
Once we recognize that we have our own personal team it makes it much easier to separate the different messages that they deliver. Some are encouraging and understanding of what we want to achieve or accomplish. Others, the resisters, are asking ‘what’s the purpose’ or ‘what’s the use’.
Separating the various members of your inner team helps to distinguish their messages
This separation allow us all to gain or regain clarity about what WE as our own boss wants and enables us to formulate our plan for getting ‘there’. Caution: Having any conversations with our teams in the presence of others can create concern as in … ‘is she/he actually talking to themselves?’ Some approach this differentiation by actually having this discussion in the presence of another playing the role of ‘good listener’.
Be a listener to all messages of your inner team and work to understand them.
It’s important that we accept that each and every team member believes they have our interest at heart and the key problem is that it often doesn’t match what we want for ourselves. Yet making sure we hear, understand and differentiate the messages allows us to basically say ‘Thank you for your thoughts, concerns and ideas. Now I need you to understand that I am doing what I think I need to do to achieve my goals.

There are a number of ideas as to how to treat, hear and respect our inner voices. And to me, here is the key. Recognizing that the voices that we occasionally hear from within can be motivational to helping us achieve the goals we have … OR … they can work to keep us from moving forward as we know we want and must do for our own benefit. Just the separation of the related messages from what we want can free us up to make the desired progress. It allows us to reclaim the control that we, often unknowingly, have relinquished to another.

Regardless of our dealing with a work related issue or one in another area of our life and although the team player can be, look and sound different in each situation, recognition that they exist allows us to differentiate from ourselves and open the door to where we want to go and be. Hijacking is often associated with association with airplanes and cars. When it comes to hijacking our thoughts, goals or plans is where we get to draw the line. We may have personal teams however they are NOT the boss of us!! Here’s to good conversations and being our own best driver!!
Mike Dorman

Nov 04 2019

Advanced Technology ~ How It Helps and Hinders Effective Communication and Success in the Workplace

Effective communication within the workplace has always presented a challenge to accomplishing the task at hand when doing so requires the efforts of more than one person. I have addressed this issue previously through the several years I have been blogging based on my experience in working with people in various organizations and at various levels of responsibility. The first time I tackled the topic was a long seven years ago in the blog entitled ‘Clear Communication – A Great Place to Start in Minimizing Re-work’. Yet that was then and we are in a different place now.

It is not that today, there is any less need for clear communication or any less cost of the re-work that often follows when it is not done with clarity and agreed upon understanding. The difference is the introduction and continual evolution of more and more advanced technology that is having an enormous impact on how we communicate, the speed of the communication and the overall impact that this is having on the work accomplished and the related effectiveness of it.

What I find so interesting is that for the most part we have all experienced the significant differences on our methods of communicating with our co-workers or our customers. And yet … a topic that often comes to the forefront when coaching with an individual or a team is the errors that occur in the work being done and the cost that creates in the form of correcting them and delays in the delivery of the finished product to customers or simply to other internal people needing it to do their part.

I want to be clear. Much has been written about all of the advantages of the technology advances at work. There is no argument that …

It has expanded our ability to deliver a consistent message to a broader range of people helping to insure that all are hearing (reading?) the same input at the same time.

It has enhanced the speed of the communication that is imperative to the work being done and thus, increases efficiency to it. The significant added benefit is the reduction of costs related to our getting the message out.

It has introduced various options to the communication path we choose to take that can more effectively be tailored to both individuals and the numbers of them that we need to reach.

It has made the world smaller as it relates to co-workers or customers who are located in other offices and thatoffers definite advantages related to each having the same and clear understanding of the goals and processes used to achieve them.

The list of the gains and advantages that developing technology has delivered can easily go on as it is extensive. However, what I become aware of are the added problems that are rearing up that can be attributed to the wondrous tech advances. Here are some having their own impact … impact that can be seen as unintended consequences:

A developing reduction in our ability to interact with others
When we don’t use any area of our brain over time, the ability to use the related skills simply diminish according to scientists. The parts of the brain that are affected by technology mostly relate to an individual’s communication and social skills. Whereas older people in the workplace didn’t grow up relying on technology, within the millennial generation technology is second nature. Thus, they are lacking within their experience the inclination and ability to interact and communicate beyond a digital interface. With this group becoming and a larger and larger portion of the work force, it brings with them some added challenges.
Multi-tasking taken to a new and less productive level
The ability to maintain focus on more than one task has been an advantage that many enjoy. Yet it is the person’s decision to go from one thing to another while balancing the work they have to do. Today’s technology seems to have removed that choice and rather, the pop-up notices, the beeps or music signals something new arriving and seems to dictate that the person must attend to whatever it is and Thus the multi-tasking has become known as multi-distracting and has been shown to negatively impact productivity.

Diminished communication skills as a negative unless dealing with only robots
Many of the skills we need and employ when having face-to-face communication with other individuals simply are not required when our communication is solely using the tools that technology has provided. Things like proper grammar, body language, and social cues are all disabled through technology. Thus abusing the use of the many technological advances will have an undesirable impact … this is, as long as we have and need human interaction in business.

Successful social skills are simply diminished and that’s NOT a value
With all of the advantages that the technology of today and tomorrow do and will offer, theydo not replace the value and contribution that developing and nurturing social contact brings to the table. At least today, this is a highly contributing factor to a successful ‘deal’ and outcome.

If technology reduces person-to-person communication, say hello to rising stress levels, missed deadlines, low morale and reduced overall health.
This is what some complain about as taking place within their organizations. The personal sense of isolation is furthered by our use of all of the exciting tools that are constantly being introduced and utilized. It is, however, bringing with it new levels of realities that take away from the very satisfaction we strive to have … personally and collectively.

Seven years ago my blog was focused on the cost of re-work when communication between people wasn’t clear and understood in the very same way by all involved parties. So, yes, the communication taking place today has enhanced the potential of participants having the same understanding about what needs to happen and that is good. And yet today, and because the tools we have are designed to further clarity among all involved, they have arrived having an impact on the interpersonal communication we still need to achieve the full and positive outcome required to maximize success.

speaking tech

With each new and developing tech advancement, we need to become more sensitive to what skills stand to be diminished and if that carries an undesirable cost, plan accordingly so we can have it all!
Mike Dorman

Oct 23 2019

Phone Addiction and Its’ Impact on the Business Environment

I can’t say for sure however I suspect that with the development of the ‘smart’ phone the intent was to provide us as users with the ability to have access to the world of information in a fast and efficient manner. I also suspect that

phone computer

it was to provide easier and faster avenues to interface with others in our respective worlds … both the business and personal parts of them. I’m pretty confident that some form of addiction was any part of the game plan past, present or future. However what we are seeing and even personally experiencing is the unintended consequence of just that. Our inability to function without easy and ongoing access to every beep, buzz or musical notice that something is going on around us that we must attend to NOW!

kids fone addiction

This is not a new awareness or concern that has just come to the forefront of our consciousness. However, it has done nothing but escalate and that is opening the door to more and greater problems. This week I read an attention getting article in the on-line CNN website that is entitled:

/smartphone-addiction-camp-intl-hnk-scli/index.html”>The teenagers so addicted to cellphones they’re going to detox centers”

. I found this a fascinating and at the same time concerning read and suggest that you might want to read it as well.

Certainly it’s a concern for your children through their teen years however the real and growing concern is that it is this age group that has begun infiltrating the business world and with them comes the addiction that they have developed along the way.

Think about it. Next time you’re in the office and working at your desk notice others around you. Simon Sinek has produced a video that clearly identifies how the growing addiction impacts our professional and personal lives. Here are some the key points he makes:

The proximity of the phones to us at all times
Today it’s common to see most everyone with their phone located relatively close to them. The older co-worker may have theirs on the desk however it will most often be to the side of their computer screen. The younger person, sitting at the similar desk with a similar computer often has their phone placed just below thekeyboard. If you observe this person their eyes are constantly shifting between the computer screen and their phone screen when they get a notice that something new has arrived. And beyond just noticing, often times they jump to the phone to respond. Finally it’s back to focus on the computer screen … that is until the next interruption to which they feel compelled to respond now.
Diminishing the importance of another person with our phone in hand
Envision yourself approaching a co-worker with a question or a desire to discuss something you deem as important. They stop to listen with the phone in-hand and within eye shot with the message being I want to hear and help you however you’re of secondary importance. At least, we get this sense anything that might come to the phone of the person with whom we want to speak will become priority #1. Clearly it diminishes the value placed on interactions and that impacts the work and what we strive to achieve.
We are engaged in a business related meal with our phone beside us on the table
As important as the meeting may be in terms of what we want to discuss and decide upon, when we having the phone beside us simply gives the clear message that what we might be discussing is important … however … not as important as the text or email I may receive. So again … you are important however not the most important thing going on.
We are in a discussion and our ever-present phone indicates an incoming call
Of course we see and often hear it and, after looking to see the caller ID, we magnanimously announce that we are not taking the call. The person or people with whom we’re meeting might well feel very lucky however there is no way they feel as your most important focus. Is this our intention? Most likely not.
We’re waiting for a meeting to begin and while doing so use our phone rather than using the time to have actual conversation with others also waiting. Do we really have nothing to say to others with whom we work?Have we forgotten how to verbally communicate with others or do we see this as unimportant and a waste of time? It’s during such moments of down time that relationships are developed and built and this is still considered a foundation of success.

In my coaching related meetings with various business clients I encounter some of these things often. When I lose the focus of the other person because they notice the blip emanating from their phone and immediately look to see who/what it is, I often ask if that’s something to which they need to respond immediately. Most of the time it does not requires immediate attention and yet it is a distraction to whatever we have been and need to discuss. In some cases I have actually asked another to turn off their phone while we are meeting simply because they are missing out on the full value of what they have chosen to do … in this case coach.

I find little if any argument for the fact that our smart phones have actually impacted our ability to think using our brains. They have impacted our memories because we don’t have to remember a phone number or how to drive from point A to B. They have shortened our attention span just by their active presence in our daily lives. They have enhanced our ability to feel connected and yet we also come to realize we are actually less connected in a meaningful way.

Please don’t get me wrong. Our phones are phenomenal in terms of what they can and do provide to us as the user. Expanded resources … speed … vast amounts of information easily accessible … conveniences as never before. Yet at the same time, they have introduced a form of addiction to so many that is unsettling while it impacts the very relationships on which so much of our individual and collective success depends. Something to think about? I know for me it is.
Mike Dorman

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