INTRODUCTION
Organizations often have leaders who bring a lot of leadership experience to their position. As such they have learned through this experience approaches that work in conveying opinions and decisions that are well received by members of the team they lead. This success plays a pivotal role in creating an environment where employees feel valued, motivated, and aligned with organizational goals.
At the same time organizations often have employees who have been promoted into a leadership/management role and bring little if any experience to this position. As such and without focused training they provide responses using some words or phrases, unintended or not, that can serve to undermine that positive dynamic, demotivate employees, and lead to unintended consequences.
WAYS TO RESPOND TO EMPLOYEE INQUIRES THAT ENCOURAGE RATHER THAN DEMOTIVATE
Here are some things leaders should avoid saying to employees, along with
insights into why these statements can backfire and suggestions for alternative approaches.
- “That’s not my problem—figure it out.”
When leaders tell employees to “figure it out” without offering guidance, it can come across as dismissive and unhelpful, particularly when the employee is genuinely struggling with a task. This phrase can suggest that leaders are unwilling to help or provide resources, leading to frustration and disengagement.
Alternative Approach: Leaders can instead foster autonomy without leaving employees stranded by saying, “Let’s talk through the challenges you’re facing and work on a plan together.” This approach respects the employees’ initiative while still offering support, creating a balance between empowerment and guidance.
- “This is just the way we do things.”
When leaders refuse to consider new and innovative ideas by insisting that “this is just the way we do things,” it can stifle creativity and innovation. Employees may feel their ideas are unwelcome, which can limit growth and discourage initiative-taking problem-solving. Over time, it may result in a stagnant, uninspired work culture.
Alternative Approach: Leaders should instead say, “We’ve traditionally approached it this way, but I’m open to hearing other ideas.” This encourages employees to bring forth new perspectives while respecting past processes. It signals openness to innovation, empowering team members to feel that they contribute to the organization’s evolution.
- “I don’t have time for this right now.”
Saying “I don’t have time for this” implies that the employee’s concerns aren’t a priority. This phrase can erode trust and make employees feel undervalued, causing them to disengage or hesitate before approaching the leader with future issues, potentially affecting team morale and productivity.
Alternative Approach: Leaders can say, “I want to give this the attention it deserves; can we schedule some time later today or tomorrow?” This shows respect for the employees’ concerns while acknowledging time constraints. It makes employees feel valued and reassures them that their issues will be addressed thoughtfully.
- “I’ve noticed that some of you are consistently arriving late for work. You all need to make sure you do what it takes to be on time every day.”(Shared with everyone in an email/meeting.)
Don’t use the “shotgun feedback” method. If one person is causing an issue, such as showing up
late consistently, don’t send a blanket email to the team attempting to correct the behavior. The person at fault may not even realize it’s directed toward them anyway, and the rest of the team could become frustrated that they’re being penalized for something they’re not doing. Also, if the issue mentioned in the email continues, the team may begin resenting you for letting it go on without action, rather than individually addressing the problem employee.
Alternative Approach: Instead, address the situation directly (and privately) with the one person at fault. - “This isn’t the time for a raise/promotion discussion.”
While timing can be a factor in such conversations, leaders who dismiss them outright can inadvertently make employees feel stuck and unrewarded. If employees believe they are overdue for recognition or compensation, shutting down the conversation can hurt morale and increase turnover risk.
Alternative Approach: Explain to the employee when salary reviews are typically done and the basis for being able to justify an increase … often related to new learning and increased value to the organization.
- “That’s not how we do things here.” “You don’t need to understand why we’re doing it this way. You just need to trust that your leadership will always do the right thing.”
While standard procedures are often essential, this phrase can demotivate employees who may feel that their ideas are unwelcome. It can make employees feel that they are working in a rigid environment that resists change, stifling creativity and innovation. Everyone wants to feel like they’re part of a larger community where their thoughts actually matter to others and add value to the organization. This is just another way of saying, “Because I said so,” which, of course, always did the trick for putting our questions to rest when we were children – right? Wrong.
Alternative Approach: A better way to phrase this might be, “We have considered as much
information as possible in making this decision, including the input many of you have contributed. As always, we are open to your thoughts, but for now, this seems to be the best path for our team/department/company/organization.”
- “This project needs to be done by tomorrow.”
While urgency is sometimes necessary, unexpected demands can cause stress, resentment, and burnout, especially if unrealistic timelines are imposed without consideration of existing workloads. Consistently using such short deadlines can lead to decreased motivation and job satisfaction.
Alternative Approach: If urgency is genuinely required, leaders can say, “I realize this is a quick turnaround, but this project has become a top priority; let’s look at what’s possible together.” This approach shows empathy for the employee’s workload and invites a collaborative solution to the time challenge. - “Nice job today.”
A statement like this is too vague to be impactful, leaving employees unsure of exactly what they
did well, other than show up to work! This may lead them to believe that you’re not really paying attention to what they’re doing and that you’re just giving generic manager platitudes.
Alternative Approach: Instead, be specific. For example, say, “Awesome job on handling that upset customer this morning. You really showed patience and great decision making. - “Because I said so.”
This phrase shuts down communication and may come across as authoritarian, leaving employees feeling unimportant and disrespected. When leaders rely on authority without explanation, employees may become frustrated or resentful, affecting their loyalty and motivation.
Alternative Approach: Leaders can say, “Let me explain why this decision was made and how it supports our larger goals.” Providing context helps employees understand the reasoning behind decisions and demonstrates respect for their intelligence and role within the organization.
CONCLUSION:
While leadership demands decisiveness, it’s essential to remember that words have the power to either uplift or demoralize. By avoiding phrases that can leave employees feeling undervalued or unsupported, leaders foster a workplace where employees feel respected, motivated, and encouraged to contribute to the organization’s success. Instead of using phrases that discourage, a good leader communicates with empathy, understanding, and transparency, ultimately building a team that is more engaged, loyal, and productive.
Mike Dorman
