In order for someone move from where they are in their job or career to where they want to be, it often
requires that they have serious conversation with another person in that organization be it a boss or co-worker. The serious part is the easiest part for one knows what concerns and bothers them and what they need and would like to do to make the needed change.
It is having the actual conversation itself that is often the real challenge. In fact, to some it is so difficult that it’s simply not held. And … that means that if we can’t find a way to address things that we see as important, critical or necessary to ourselves, our careers or the organization, we are stuck. Stuck is not a place of any value and underlies much of the unhappiness and frustration that is experienced by many.
Here’s what I know. Help is on the way. And the good news is that one doesn’t need to look fa
r to find it as it resides within us. I know that there are things we can do that both prepare and enable us to address the issues that have thus far held us back in an unproductive way. Consider these steps:
- Become clear in your own mind as to the issue that needs to change
Knowing what needs to happen in clear terms enables us to convey it to another/others.
- Become clear as to the reasons the change is needed and the benefits to the organization, department or team
In order to sell your reasoning to others they will need to see and understand the advantages this will provide in terms of reaching your intended goal.
- Outline the points of your presentation in a clear and concise manner in preparation for your conversation.
This enhances the ability to stay on topic which is important so that you don’t lose your listener. Staying on message is critical!
- Anticipate that your audience may have responses you didn’t anticipate and be prepared to actively listen to them.
This will not be a one-sided conversation. Your listener(s) will also want to be heard You are wise to expect this and know that they may well respond with their own frustrations and this is often a step toward needed dialogue.
- Respect your listener’s right to respond as they see fit
Being open-minded is going to have a big part in your success in achieving your intended goal.
Expecting a certain response to your input potentially dooms desired progress.
- As a means of understanding ‘their’ position, ask the other person(s) questions
It will be important that you and they know you have understood their issues and any points of concern. Such information might lead to some modification of your intended goal which can do much to bring about the success you desire.
- Recognize that change often isn’t accomplished in one attempt.
Your initial attempt can serve as an ice-breaker leading to further conversation and consideration after
all have had the chance to digest and think about what they have heard.
What is important is that we don’t allow ourselves to fall into a trap that can ultimately take us or have us remain in a negative place. Tackling any issues that you see as critical to your own career and advancement is a skill to be developed and utilized. Going over the edge into a zone of discomfort is often uncomfortable when initially done. By taking the challenge head-on we soon master a method that will serve us well for the duration of our career specifically and life in general. The results you want to achieve are yours for the taking! Really!
Mike Dorman
Perfect advice!
Thank you Linda!!
I like your thoughts encouraging folks to engage in important conversations with the important people in their lives. I coach my executive clients to arrange a “listening appointment” with these folks. If I were to arrange a listening appointment with you I would ask you if we could have a specified amount of time together, two hours or more for example, where you choose the topics and I do the listening. So the person who is invited is in charge of determining what the subject will be. I have a number of conditions that I set for the meeting including making it private, allowing for comfort breaks, and keeping from defending my position if you have something negative to say about me. I actually have about four pages of ideas how to make a listening appointment successful. It is all about honoring the person I invite for me to listen to.
I think your process might get at the same end but your focus is more on the needs of the person who asks for the meeting. My focus is on the person I want to listen to with empathy.
Good ideas are your specialty. Keep up the good work in 2019! Let me be the first to wish you a Happy Gnu Ear 2019! May the coming year be filled with good health, happy clients, and lots of time with the people you love! Cheers, Philip Henderson, the ethical magician.
Philip. Thanks for your comments and wishes for ’19. Of course there are always different ways to approach and deal with any issue. Best to you as well!