Taming Our Assumptions in the Workplace As the Path to the Success We Want

I hasten to say that this situation is far from rare.  In fact, it lays at the foundation of many issues that rear their head within any company … how to have good, clear, basic and effective communication.  Whose job is it to get clarification that aligns all behind the same understanding?  The answer is simple.  It’s everyone’s job.  The organization’s ultimate desire and goal is to operate with the maximum level of efficiency and the minimum amount of rework.  The employee wants to be successful in their work and be appreciated for their contribution.  The starting point for this happening comes through an across-the-board effort to have clear communication and arriving on the same page of shared understanding.

Mara Vizzuitti penned an article entitled “The Poser in Checking Out Your Assumptions”
that addressed this issue.  She said that “As long as we’re in relationships with others, be it in the workplace or in our personal lives, we are only going to have communication glitches.  We would do well to expect them.  One of the reasons for this is our propensity for making assumptions about people and events that occur around us.  Most of the time, our assumptions are just plain wrong.

In other words, we’re pretty good at deciding what that ‘look’ means or what that ‘email’ means. We even assume we know what people are thinking. It is natural to make judgments, as our brains are constantly processing information. However, we make up stories about the “way he or she is” potentially creating issues with others that don’t exist. It is likely that 80 percent of conflict is based in fantasy.”

We have all experienced this scenario.  We see someone make a face at something we may have said and immediately we tend to make up what that means.  Like … they don’t like the idea … it’s a silly one … they don’t think we know what we’re talking about … or they just disagree with us.  All of this is because of someone else’s look or action.  And … unless we are willing to question what we saw we will not ever know that our assumptions are, in fact, true or just an erroneous assumption?

Four Basic Reasons We Should Stop Making Assumptions

1. An Assumption actually closes our mind
   Once we have made a judgment about a person or an idea, this becomes a default position. Changing that opinion is the challenge as it has been adopted as our truth and difficult to shake off.

2. An assumption leads to judgment NOT based on wisdom and discernment
   It is the process of jumping to a conclusion without any supporting evidence

3. An assumption based on another’s opinion can upset and undermine a team
   Simply adopting the opinion of another person as fact influences the way we respond and relate to that individual. That it is not based in fact or our own experience can easily upset both the individual and the effectiveness of the group. And there goes the motivation to work cohesively to accomplish the objectives. 

4. Assumptions we hold make it difficult for us or another to change our mind

   

   When a judgment is made based on an assumption rather than fact we hold onto it as our truth. That confidence serves to close our minds to another possibility and thus changing how we see something becomes much more difficult.

Curiosity Becomes the Path to Establish Fact Over Assumptions

If we don’t make assumptions, we can focus our attention on the truth, not on what we think is the truth. Then we see life the way it is, not the way we want to see it. When we don’t believe our own assumptions, the power of our belief that we invested in them returns to us.

What is very important is that we become curious and enter a communication wanting to truly ‘hear’ the response regardless of what it may be.  Here are some simple ways to check out our assumptions as identified by Vizzutti:

1. Ask Permission:
   Can I check something out with you?
2. Describe the behavior:
   Yesterday, I noticed you made a face while I was presenting my suggestions for moving forward …
3. State your Assumption:
   “I assumed you were upset with what I had said …”
4. Ask an open-ended question: “Is this true? What were you thinking?

In making your inquiry as you seek to determine the validity of your ‘made-up’ conclusions you are going to find out one of two things: Either …

1. you will find that your assumptions were just wrong and nowhere near the truth.
   or …

   

2. you will determine that your interpretation is correct and you can then have open conversation to understand the other person(s) better and create how you can avoid such unintended consequences or at least minimize this in the future.

Regardless of what you discover you will then know how you should and need to proceed.  Perhaps nothing other than to work to tame your imagination.  Or you will need to have more conversations to understand the other person’s point of view.  Just remaining satisfied that your original assumption is right will eventually impact the relationship negatively resulting in withdrawal from the other person(s).  That in turn can clearly impact both the organization’s success and one’s personal satisfaction and enjoyment of his/her jobs.

Think about it. All it takes is talk … something we do pretty easily!
Mike Dorman