The Third Zone

Specialists in Organizational and Executive Leadership

  • Home
  • Our Team
  • What We Do
  • Successes
  • Blog
  • Reading
  • Contact

Mar 15 2017

Your Mindset’s Impact on Potentially Difficult Conversations

When coaching an individual in relationship to their job, it’s not unusual to uncover a very real reluctance on the part of that person to confront their own challenges with those to whom they report.  They come to realize that having specific conversations is the pathway to resolution however, anticipating that exchange becomes a wall beyond or around which they either just can’t or are very nervous with even the thought of doing so.

So obviously, the longer one remains stuck in this place of reluctance and even fear, changing the game to get them beyond this remains on hold.  The outcomes can range from being a disgruntled team member sapped of energy and enthusiasm for their job leading to poor performance or … leading them to move on in search of a better place to work.  Unfortunately, the latter solution is going to bring the problem with them for it is only the person who can push beyond the point of stuck and make things better.

What accomplishing the ability to confront challenging conversations requires is a different mindset.

That’s it! And what makes it simple is that it’s YOURS … something over which you have total control!!

Here are a few steps that can move you from where you might be stuck to where you want and need to be in order to move confidently into a conversation that stands to benefit you.

  • Prepare yourself mentally
    Anticipating the conversation to be negative and challenging is what can put you in the frame of mind to want to avoid it. Thinking about the good that can come from it and what that means to you and your success in the job and company really works to help you look forward to the exchange
  • Prepare yourself for the conversation
    Ponder these questions: 

    • Why do you want to have it and what do you want to accomplish?
    • What is the role that you attitude has in creating the dreaded perception of it and what can you do to change that?
    • What is the real issue and who have you made your opponent?
    • What have you done, if anything, to contribute to the issue?
  • Engage actively in the conversation
    Changing your outlook toward the communication allows you to engage in it from the standpoint of interest and curiosity. Although you know how and what you think, being open to really ‘hearing’ is a great way to begin.  Ask questions to enhance your understanding and then, with this clarity, you are able to respond in a way that explains a different view or opinion that you have.
  • Work to achieve joint move-forward decisions
    Having presented yourself in a non-confrontational manner and having truly heard the thinking and perspective of the other person you will have potentially created a cooperative ‘team’ that can now work together to devise resolutions to the issue. You are no longer stymied and all the while, making a positive impression that will serve you well going forward.

Remaining ‘stuck’ behind that wall is not going to lead to positive outcomes.  Changing our perspective of most any situation can impact our reactions to it and the options that we see for moving forward.  Of course, the ultimate choice as to what we do and how we handle it is ours. In the least, it’s worth a shot.

Mike Dorman

 

 

Share this:

  • Click to share on X (Opens in new window) X
  • Click to share on Facebook (Opens in new window) Facebook

Written by Mike · Categorized: Effective Communication

Comments

  1. Philip Henderson says

    March 16, 2017 at 7:08 pm

    Thank you Mike. Encouraging people to listen to each other and search for good resolutions to difficult problems is a good idea. Overcoming the fear often leads to good relationships with others especially if you dig in and do this early in the process. If you wait too long you become the bearer of problems. If you wade in early you become the heroic figure asking others to join in the adventure of resolving challenging problems.

Contact

Toll Free: (866) 902-3777
Direct Phone: (949) 733-3777





    The Third Zone
    (Headquarters)
    5319 University Drive #212
    Irvine, CA 92612

    Share this:

    • Click to share on X (Opens in new window) X
    • Click to share on Facebook (Opens in new window) Facebook

    Copyright © 2025 The Third Zone

    Powered by Guild™

    Please wait...

    Subscribe to our newsletter

    Want to be notified when our article is published? Enter your email address and name below to be the first to know.
    SIGN UP FOR NEWSLETTER NOW

    190220 Ebook CTA image

    Being Thrown Under the Bus:
    What to Do When It happens to YOU in the Workplace

    Chapters include:

    • The Meaning of Being Thrown Under the Bus
    • The Ones Who are Likely to do the Throwing
    • The Impact on the Individuals and the Organization Where Throwing Under the Bus is Tolerated
    • Responding After Having Been Thrown Under the Bus … You Get to Choose
    • How to Minimize the Likelihood of Finding Yourself Under the Bus

      Your Name (required)

      Your Email (required)

      Your Phone

      Thanks for your message!

       

      Loading Comments...