You’re ‘So Busy’ … sure … but in the right way?

It doesn’t seem to matter which hat I’m wearing – my coach hat or my friend hat. Whenever I ask someone how things are going, the response is the same. “I’m so busy I don’t have time to think; OR, avoid taking work home; OR, get my job done during regular hours; OR have any down time with family and friends. So even though this is a common reply, what I find fascinating is that the statement is made as though this were a badge of honor. It’s as if they believe this is the way for them to stand out among others. To me, however, this sounds like a life out of balance.

So where does someone get the idea that exhausting oneself ‘for the team’ is healthy, right or even necessary?   Here are some possibilities.

• Your Assumption: Your ”boss” always seems to be ‘at work’. Phone calls that come to you during ‘off’ times or emails and texts that are sent 24/7. It wouldn’t be unusual to assume is that this is also expected of you.

• Your Belief: Somewhere along the line you developed the personal belief that ‘hard work’ carried within its’ definition the requirement that you will get ahead and be rewarded because you unselfishly devote whatever time is necessary to the job.
• Your Mindset: You are driven to climb the success ladder as quickly as possible and have had it engrained in you that the way to achieve is to work, work, work without limitation and your payoff will be the recognition and advancement that you strive for.
• Your Made-up-Story: No-one necessarily told you this yet somewhere you determined that to set yourself apart from all the others you had to stand-out. How you have translated this is to put in more time and more energy and being busier than all others around you. You believe this will be recognized and rewarded.

I read an article entitled The Value of Balance written by Bahram Akradi. I quote “It’s easy to make a case for balance, because without it, even our best intentions and most vigorous efforts can quickly become counterproductive and profoundly unsatisfying. The challenge with balance, of course, is not so much in talking about it, but in achieving it — and maintaining it over time. And the precursor to that challenge is identifying what it means to us, personally.”

The questions that we must all ask ourselves are …

1. At what cost am I doing this?
2. What price am I paying in other areas of my life for my relentless devotion to the job?
3. What’s the fallacy of my thinking
4. How do I change it?

In coaching it’s often that I meet a client who is working untold hours … both long days during the week and numerous weekend hours. They realize something is amiss. They simply aren’t achieving the level of success that they hoped for. In exploring other aspects of their lives it turned out that they were out of balance. Rather than the feeling of being accomplished and invigorated, they had become detached and disinterested in the very thing that was getting the lion’s share of their focus and attention. 

 I ask YOU … How balanced is the life you are leading? Provided you accept the idea that being ‘in balance’ is a key ingredient to your overall success and satisfaction, I have a challenge for you. Allowing your curiosity to drive you, click HERE and access your own ‘Balance Wheel’. In the 5 minutes it will take you to print and complete it you will have a good sense of how balanced YOU are in the life you’re living. The better the balance we each have as we individually define it, the more satisfying and successful we will be in all areas of our life. DO IT and when finished if you would like help in interpreting the result just send us your questions with or without attaching your results and we we’ll gladly respond. Go ahead and try it … I think you’ll like it! (You can email us lifebalancewheel@thethirdzone.com ).

Mike Dorman